Self Care – Doing things that make you feel good that aren’t about food.

Shhh.  I have a secret.  I “snuck” out during my lunch time today.  Ok, so I didn’t really sneak out, I told everyone I was headed for a haircut and since it is Holy Week and I have plenty of extra hours in the next few days it is fine.  Anyway, I left to go get a much needed haircut (also good to look a bit more polished for the congregation – I had grown rather scruffy…see?)

Before:

I love taking time to get a new cut and color because I don’t do it often enough and because it is something I do to feel good that doesn’t involve food.  It is a non-food reward and whenever I can have self care time when food is not involved and there are no “treats” it is a good thing.

Plus, when my hair looks better I feel better.  When I feel better I have been strength to turn down food that I shouldn’t be chosing.

I love the way this cut turned out.  I feel like I keep pushing the envelope toward a really short pixie and I just love it short.  It is such a better fit for my hair type (straight, fine and a TON of it), any attempts at length and I lose any volume in an instant.  The color looks more subtle in pictures but it is a definite bump up from my bland brown normal hair color.  I don’t color it often but I love the results when I enhance my own beauty even more.    

I am not a super girly-girl, but I do love the relaxation that comes from a hair cut and the excitement about looking polished.

P.S. Two days of tracking so far.  Feeling strong and back on the wagon.

Weigh In Week 63

Hey guys,  I am back!  I wrote a long (whiny and defensive) blog post for you last night and Word Press ate it on me. Probably a smart move on WP’s part as I am feeling much more myself today.  Still, yesterday’s post was about how muc of a struggle my eating has been for me lately.  This kind of struggle…

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Ok, so that isn’t ENTIRELY true.  One because I am not on a diet, instead I am changing my lifestyle.  And two because I haven’t been having chocolate for breakfast, but just eating LOTS of things, and generally making all the wrong choices.

After my weepy post-that-never-posted last night I put on my big girl panties and decided to get back on track.  Since Wednesdays are my Weigh In days – heading back to my Weight Watchers meeting and jumping on the scale was the first step.

+8.2 Pounds (two weeks)

-82.4 lbs lost on WW to date (116lbs total)

So yes.  A huge mighty slip up on my part.  I made several key errors, the biggest being choosing not to track on my vacation.  I WANT to be a person who can not track and keep her intact of food to a moderate level, but I can’t.  I am not that girl and I likely never will be.  I have no sense of moderation – I have eating and not eating – and there are foods that once I start eating it seems to take an act of God to stop (or we run out).  This compounded with giving up those extra points for breast-feeding made it a dangerous game to play on vacation.

Lesson learned: Never stop tracking no matter how bad it is.

Atrapitis

Not tracking is a trap for me.  And a dangerous game for someone how has food issues to play.  Alas, back to full time tracking for me.  I hate that this month I am up like 15lbs.  As far as I am concerned March can go away.  Thankfully it is now April and a new chance.

Today I weighed in, tracked everything I ate, ate enough fruits and veggies and drank all my water.  It was a good day so far.  I have a zero point snack tucked away in the fridge if need be (a pear) and am about to redo my nails to help distract me from food.

I am not perfect, I will never claim to be, but I am trying.  This has been a pretty awful month and I had admitting how much I slid but I cannot change it I just have to move forward.

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And finally, here is a little reminder for myself and for you too.  I want to be honest and open here and not defensive and whiny so I am going to remind myself that I am doing this for me and for my family.  I write for me and I welcome anyone who it might help here to read my words and enter into the conversation.  But be kind please.  Weight is a heavy issue (ha).  Don’t kick people when they are down.

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Home again, home again.

We are back from our mini-vacation.  It was lovely and relaxing.  The kids (and adults) loved swimming, water slides and all the fun.  We ate all but one meal in our condo which is good, but I admittedly did struggle with moderation.

Now that I am home I am back to tracking.  I will have a bit more sugar detox to do than I’d hoped but I do not regret taking vacation off.  If that makes me a horrible weight loss blogger then so be it.  I am only me.  I write my story and it people like it then great, if not then feel free to move along.

I did not weigh in this week since I was on vacation.  I will go weigh in on Wednesday as normal and we’ll see what the scale shows.  It took me a long time to get to the point where my worth is not tied to my weight and having to back track a bit still doesn’t change that.

I have an amazing life and an amazing family.  And I enjoyed THEM this week.  That is the important part.

Scenes from the week:

    

When in the homeland…

Permission

I am “out of the office” right now.  We headed out for a few days of vacation over my son’s spring break.  We haven’t had a family vacation in ages (at least since getting pregnant with Edith – 2 + years).  We are sharing a condo with friends and there are plenty of indoor water parks.

We are running around swimming, climbing steps of water slides and generally being active and I have given myself permission not to track over these few days.  I know that I will likely gain weight while I am gone but for the first time in a long time I am giving myself a break – from work, from worrying, from weight watchers.  I am taking a break and my only goal is to enjoy my time with my family.

Four days won’t break a year of work.  Weight can be re-lost.  And right now being present and away from phones, trackers, computers and obligations is a much needed respite.  And now since nap time is nearly over, I am going to put down the computer and rejoin the family fun.  There are water slides calling our name.