I feel like I’m struggling a little with accountability. Accountability to myself as it relates to what I’ve been eating lately.
Every once in awhile, I think to myself that I should find an accountability partner. Someone to help keep me on track. But if I can’t be accountable to myself, what is that saying?
I’ve been over-indulging. Eating more than what I know I need. So much so, that there have a been a few times I’ve had heartburn and I hadn’t had anything food wise to trigger it aside from the quantity.
This has been weighing heavily on my heart in the past couple weeks because it came up during one of my devotions.
Gluttony: derived from the Latin gluttire meaning to gulp down or swallow, means over-indulgence and over-consumption of food, drink, or wealth items to the point of extravagance or waste. In some Christian denominations, it is considered one of the seven deadly sins—a misplaced desire of food or its withholding from the needy. (source)
My struggle with gluttony distracts me from life. At some times, more than others. Everything I’ve blogged about for years; the weight loss, the therapy sessions, it’s all apart of my journey. But I’m still struggling. I suspect in some ways, my struggle will always have some underlying part of my life; maybe just not as obvious or relevant as other times.
I was talking to my therapist a few sessions ago, and we were talking about how sometimes I get discouraged because I still struggle. It was only when my therapist pointed out that despite my struggles now, I’m still stronger than I was, mentally & emotionally, that I found promise. Promise and hope.
I wrote a couple posts ago how I wanted to start focusing on losing the weight I had re-gained. 15lbs. Not a lot, but still, it feels like so much. I shared…
I struggle with this though, because the only time I’ve ever lost weight is when I was calorie counting. Eating low-calorie food, sugar-free food, and fat-free food. Frozen “diet” meals. 100 calorie snack packs. Processed foods. I want to lose the 15lbs but I am not excited about eating like I did. I like fat. I like heavy cream in my coffee. I like full-fat cheese and oil and butter. I feel like it’s a catch-22. Do I go back to the way I ate when I actually lost weight? It sort of feels like I’m going backward in my journey but, is a journey better when it’s adjusted based on what is needed for that specific moment?
Deep in my heart of hearts, I know going back to the way of ”diet” foods isn’t for me. But I do need to focus on my struggle with gluttony. So, with all your encouragement, I am going to focus on eating real food.
- Workout 5-6 times a week
- Eat whole foods to honor my body
- Incorporate vegetables in every meal, and at least 1 snack a day
- Make sure to get 8 hours of sleep every night
- Drink water (not worried about this, I am really good about drinking more than 64oz of water most days)
So there. Gluttony. One of the seven deadly sins, the one in which I struggle with the most.
I need to be accountable to myself, to honor my body and remove distraction from living my life the way I’m supposed to. And I need to trust.