I go on the radio this afternoon for an interview about the blog, and I am not sure what I am going to say. Afterall, by the numbers, the latest efforts of mine have not been successful. Food continues to have some serious emotional sway in my life right now, and the crazier my life becomes the more vulnerable I am to turning to food in a misguided search for control, comfort or anxiety control.
Still, these last months are not without progress. I am addressing and making real progress in therapy to address my depression, my anxiety and my binge eating. My current homework it to begin to recognize my cues for binge eating before turning to food and to try alternative means to address them first. We are focusing on three main cues – 1. feeling overwhelmed 2. lack of control 3. anxiety/feelings of inadequacy. Though these are often related they each send different food triggers for me.
With my dietitian, I am focusing on the foods I do need to have in my system. To have balanced meals so that I am not lacking in certain areas and I don’t leave myself additionally vulnerable to overeating. Often I eat too little during the day and then compensate in the evening (when I am also more likely to be overwhelmed, feel out of control, or be anxious).
With my psychiatrist, we are tweaking my medications to make sure they address what I need. We cut out one that was making my anxiety worse. He is on board with being one part of a team to improve my life.
With my physician, we are making sure my blood work continues to look good. I still get my blood pressure checked regularly and make sure I am able to do all of the physical activity I’d like to.
With my activity I make my steps a daily goal since I can do that whether or not I work out. I am also trying to get out for a workout at least once or twice a day. Tomorrow (labor day), I’ll be cleaning much of the house so that I can start doing at home workouts when the kids go to bed as well.
The school year starts on Tuesday and with it comes a new routine for the family. There is a sense of routine that gives some freedom to add some workout time to my life too.
It is hard to be a public weight loss blogger who is not currently losing weight but the reality is that I am working hard to face my food demons and get better. Slowly but surely I am becoming a better version of me.