Friday was our anniversary – 10 years so it was a big deal.  We didn’t have too much money to spend but I did have a generous gift card to a local steak place, and we had a sitter lined up.  It was nice to get away on a date with Mr. Goat.  It always seems difficult to do that on a regular basis with everything costing money, including the baby sitter costs.  So it was a nice treat.  And I had prime rib and it was YUMMY.  I think I should have my OB check my iron levels because lately all I am craving is STEAK.  I am in full carnivore pregnancy mode.  Of course everything else was delicious and we split a yummy decadent piece of chocolate cake too.  Following dinner we went to a comedy club at the Mall of America.  It was a fun nice out and I love the company I keep!

The gift I got Mr. Goat was getting rid of the vertical blinds that he hated in our living room.  I even managed to install the new curtain rod and curtains myself!  It was a test of my limited handy-woman skills and I was proud of myself for accomplishing it.

10 years and counting!

Saturday was one of those amazing days that didn’t have anything going on.  Little goat and I went to the gym while Mr. Goat mowed the lawn and took care of the garden.  It was great to get back to the gym now that my lungs are finally on the mend from my cold.  Pregnancy, colds and asthma really slowed me down but now I getting back to it.  We went for over an hour on the elliptical watching HGTV at they gym.  While I went slow and steady I realize I am going to need to shorten my exercise time too because I was SORE for the rest of the weekend.  Balance is hard to find in workouts and it seems even harder now that so much of my body is taken up by that whole growing life thing.  Still a workout is a workout!  The rest of Saturday involved laundry, grilling out dinner and lounging.  A wonderful day.

Workout done!

Sunday was Father’s Day and Little Goat obliged by sleeping in, which was good except that we then missed church.  Still we had muffins for breakfast and Mr. Goat got to put his Father’s Day present together (a ceiling fan for our bedroom).  Then we hit up a church member’s graduation party and headed out to ride the Trolley at Lake Harriet and play on the playground.  The Trolley was fun and Little Goat and Mr. Goat had a wonderful time.  Our trip was ended by the sudden storm that sprang up, so we ran out to dinner.

My two favorite boys!

Geeky Maternity Shirt

It was a good weekend and it was nice to spend a lot of time with the family this weekend rather than running every which way.  Life is going to get crazier soon with Fitbloggin’ next week, a full week at Summer Camp, and Vacation Bible School all on the horizon.  Sometimes it is good to just be and be together.

Original article: Last Weekend

©2013 Prior Fat Girl. All Rights Reserved.

And, sometimes, on a run, you hear in silence exactly what you were suppose to hear.

And sometimes, you finish a run with the exact reflection you needed.

{The above bench was discovered on a run this past weekend on the North Cedar Lake Trail in Minneapolis.}

Original article: Words we all need to hear sometimes

©2013 Prior Fat Girl. All Rights Reserved.

Even if it’s slowly moving, it’s still moving, right?

Stating (June 2nd): 178.0lbs

Current (June 18th): 176.4lbs

Total weight loss: 1.6lbs

Two weeks and only 1.6? Jeeze; I KNOW I can do better than this. I really want to step it up this week. My first thought was about how .2 ounces doesn’t really mean anything; I mean, I could drink a sip of water and gain that right back. But, there were a lot of social events this past weekend with food and the alternative to a .2lb difference is that I could have made unbalanced food choices and actually have gained weight. I indulged in all the amazing food during all the family time but, I did so balanced.

This morning, I got in a 3.5 mile run around North Minneapolis and then, came home to some eggs. My staple breakfast as of late.

I’m going to run a few errands over lunch and then, tonight plan on making chicken & grilled vegetables.

What are YOU having for dinner?

{Also, I’m still working out some tweaks on the new layout. If the layout looks weird to you, let me know what browser you are using, as well as the version (ie: Windows 8).}

Original article: Slowly is at least still moving, right?

©2013 Prior Fat Girl. All Rights Reserved.

Before I get started on this post though, let me say this:

Don’t ever feel like you have to apologize for sounding weird when you leave a comment or send me an email. Your support is a gift to me, and I enjoy reading every word of it. I love it when someone tells me how much they relate, or how they picked up the feelings in my words. I even love it when you leave long wordy messages, because that means you felt like this was a safe place to empty out your own thoughts. So thank you for being here and being a part of this, and thank you for being so receptive to my last post.

Now, back to the battlefield.

Deep thinking is good for my soul, becaue I often find that when I work out the unrest that builds there, it translates to a fresher outlook. I spent this weekend enjoying the company of close friends and in humble prayer for God to prepare my heart for the journey ahead. As of Sunday, I am recommitted to a healthful lifestyle. Fortunately, I have a couple events I’m looking forward to that will help me stay on track.

July 21 – 7-day cruise with my best friend
October 5 – 7-day visit to London

I’m still working out what my goals are for these trips. A number? A size? Maybe just to get into a certain outfit that I love?

What I do know is that the best, and most accurate advice I ever got about weight loss is that it is a battle EVERY SINGLE DAY. Every morning, I have to recognize that my tendencies lean toward overeating and trying to find everything and anything of good value in FOOD. I like food. I like the way it tastes, I like the way it comforts me, and I like the temporary high it gives me. If I’m not actively working to overcome this “bent”, I’ll find myself inhaling a bag of BBQ potato chips without even really knowing why. Even more frightning, without even reaizing that it’s happening. Ever done that? Caught yourself mindlessly shoving food into your mouth and not understanding how you got there or what drove you to do it?

That’s not what I want for myself. I believe I can get to a healthy weight, and I believe it will be fiercly difficult every step of the way. I believe that maintenance will be, at times, even harder. But I don’t have to worry about all that. Right now, I will focus on the moments directly in front of me. I will set my thoughts on the fact I am empowered to make good choices, and I am empowered to buffet my own body. It’s the only thing in this life that will every truly belong to me for always, and I will be in charge of taking care of it.

Fighting the good fight today,
Elle

Original article: Battle Zone

©2013 Prior Fat Girl. All Rights Reserved.

Hours of family on Saturday for my sister, Alicia’s wedding/open house/reception and then dinner at my cuz, Kirstin’s house to celebrate my other cuz, Joy’s birthday.

Kirstin and I

Joy and I

And hours of family on Sunday for my uncle, Dave’s 70th birthday party (okay, it was a few months early but, he was in town and a lot of other extended family was too).

Me and Carlos

When I finally did sit down on Sunday to catch my breath, my mind wandered back to a few moments on Saturday that took my breath away.

Reflecting on those moments with Paul and, the year past, brought tears to my eyes. I could see the hesitancy on his face as he walked into the room for Alicia & her husband, Nate’s celebration; I could see the pain in his eyes from those moments his life changed… from the moment all of our lives changed. The guilt I can only imagine he lives with is not greater, not better or worse than the deepest sadness we have mourning the loss of mom. We all suffered that day and, now, learn to live with results of it. Family gatherings are always bitter sweat. Paul has come to a few celebratory events over the past couple years, mostly as they relate to Colton (Alicia’s son). Colton survived the accident when my mom pushed him & his stroller out of harms way.

Aside from the family & a bit of sadness, I did get some Cinderella activities done:

• Laundry & put everything away
• Swept the floors
• Emptied & re-loaded dish washer
• Washed bed sheets & comforter
• Grocery shopping

Speaking of grocery shopping… I noticed as I was emptying my grocery bags on Sunday how much fresh produce & meat I bought, and how little processed foods I purchased. THREE CHEERS FOR ME!

• Asparagus
• Mangos
• Peaches & nectarines
• Apples
• Cauliflower
• Carrots
• Eggplant
• Red onion
• Mushrooms
• Zucchini
• Sweet potatoes
• 2 types of lettuce
• Eggs
• Tomatoes
• 2 different types of fish
• Steak

Everything above cost about $55 which is actually a little less than we normally spend on weekly groceries. We have some frozen chicken and a few additional frozen veggies we can rely on, plus if we need it, we do have some brown rice. I forgot lemons so I’m not sure how I’m going to cook the fish; I guess just salt & pepper? Or, maybe I just stop being lazy and swing by a grocery store for a few lemons

Monday was one of those days at work where your head spins from the time you walk in until it was time to leave. I’m looking forward to a much more calmer day Tuesday, starting with a sweaty gym session.

But now, it’s time for me to crawl into bed & read a bit before I shut my eyes.

Original article: Moments that take your breath away.

©2013 Prior Fat Girl. All Rights Reserved.

After work, I met Cindy, Jen and Alexa for dinner & girl time. It was so nice to see Alexa’s face in real life versus just twitter, phone, text and email. Face-to-face is so much better – I love those girls, they are my world.

I got to meet Austin for the first time, Alexa’s little guy. He totally wanted to take some selfies with me.

We had Pei Wei since they are #1 delicious and, #2 have a gluten free menu (Alexa is GF). We ordered the spicy chicken, sweet & sour chicken, Vietnamese rolls, edamame and a Asian chicken chopped salad and then just split everything. I focused on the chopped salad and Vietnamese rolls but took a bite of both chicken entrees to taste them. Yum. Cindy brought macaroons from Cocoa and Fig – my first time ever having macaroons and let’s just say I’m hooked. Two may have fallen in my mouth. No. Let me just be accountable. I ate two and they were worth it.

I was kind of bummed yesterday because I really wanted to get a run in, since the weather was so nice. It all turned out in the end because when I got home, the neighbor girls were outside riding their bikes. When they saw me get home, they asked if they could take Iggy for a walk. We did and then when we finished, they asked if they could chase Iggy in the backyard. We tried to chase him a bit and normally  he runs around the backyard trying to outrun us but last night, he just sat staring at us. The girls asked if we could play tag, so we did for a few minutes. Sure, it wasn’t a serious workout and yep, it was maybe 10 minutes but you know, it was good.

If you are reading this post, that means you are seeing the new layout – you love? I’m so excited! BIG thanks to WP Site Care for the awesome new look. There are a few more tweaks I’ll make in the next day but it feels so much lighter & cleaner.

Also, over the last few months (and weeks) I’ve received a few requests for I’m a PriorFatGirl t-shirts & One Bite, One Decision bracelets so I’ve added a link for those.

And now, let the weekend begin!

Original article: Macaroons in my mouth

©2013 Prior Fat Girl. All Rights Reserved.

How is it that I went from 212 pounds to 157 pounds and then… gained it almost all the way back? Today’s weigh in… pretty devastating. Hello 195. When I fall off the wagon, I make sure it counts.

I feel myself retreating from life, just like before. The burgeoning confidence I’d discovered has gone back into hiding, along with the pride I had taken in my appearance.

I don’t fix my hair or wear much makeup. I’m back to a couple pair of jeans and a handful of T-shirts that I try not to repeat within the same week. High heels are out. Back to inconspicuous flats and sneakers.

Even as I type this, the gravity of what I’ve done hits pretty hard and I feel a lump in my throat. This is hard to deal with, and Paul’s words from Romans 7 echo in my mind. “…the wishing is present in me, but the doing of good is not. For the good that I wish, I do not do; but I practice the very evil that I do not wish.” I want to be healthy. I do not want to have this weird, destructive, shameful relationship with food. And yet I find myself mired in the latter.

I had a painful reality check two days ago. I received an invitation to go to this party, which should be exciting right? Who doesn’t love a party. But all I felt was dread because I knew I didn’t have a single thing in my closet that I could wear. This would mean a last minute shopping trip, a frenzied sprint through the department store grabbing anything and everything that might fit, followed by a painful session in the fitting room. There would probably be tears. Zippers that wouldn’t zip, buttons that wouldn’t button. I’d get mad, and feelings of self-hatred would well up and I’d be miserable. And in the end I’d fork over whatever money it cost, because beggars can’t be choosers.

It didn’t take me long to decide I’d pass on the party. I could come up with a good excuse. Besides, I can stay in and watch a movie or something. It’s just a Friday night. I’d enjoy being on my couch in my sweats more anyway.

Gross. Gross. Gross. Even I didn’t believe my lies anymore and I could feel the tears burning in the back of my eyes anyway. So much for not crying. That’s when the phrase “half life” ran across my brain. Again, again, and again. “I’m living a half life,” I thought to myself. It was the entire reason I started losing weight to begin with. I was tired of fading into the background because I was embarrassed about myself. I was tired of instantly jumping into the “friend zone” with every guy I ever met because it was easier than taking the risk of being the rejected fat girl.

I don’t have an answer worked out yet for why I’m in this place once again. “As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.” Why is that true?

Working through it,
Elle

Original article: Half Life.

©2013 Prior Fat Girl. All Rights Reserved.

I think it was Tuesday when I was changing into my workout clothes over lunch and realized I had forgotten my socks. So, a sockless workout it was. Because I deserved a workout.

Last night, I went to my sister, Heidi’s house, to do a little crafting. Crafting for my sister, Alicia’s, wedding reception present. She got married in Vegas in January and is having her reception now that the weather is nicer and we can all be outside. The crafty gift turned out so well and I wish I could show you but, she peaks at the blog every once in awhile and I don’t want to risk it I’m kind of tempted to keep it myself and just give her a gift card to Target – ha!

I got home around 9pm and Carlos asked if I wanted to watch a movie with him. I’m usually not one to start a movie at 9pm on a work night (I’m old & like to be in bed early) but, I knew he had been wanting to watch it so we curled up with some popcorn that Angie’s had sent us. {Giveaway coming soon!}

Yum. It was good – a very light movie popcorn taste, which I preferred. Carlos wanted to add butter but, he is also the person that takes the salt shaker from the counter into the theater with him when we go see movies. I didn’t end up getting to bed until midnight, which is way later than usual and, because of it, turned my alarm off this morning at 5:30am. Didn’t even snooze the alarm, just turned it off. FAIL. I wanted to get a run in before work. I’m okay missing a day because that’s life but, I was really looking forward to a run. Such a good realization for me that my decisions last night effect my decisions today; if I really want to get an AM run in, I shouldn’t stay up later than usual.

I’m meeting Liz, another priorfatgirl, for lunch today so can’t sneak a run in over lunch. And, I’m having dinner with my bestest friends Alexa, Cindy and Jen tonight, which means no activity then either. A day with no activity is okay, just means I have to make sure I’m fueling my body correctly. I started my day with eggs cooked in BUTTER and a banana. Good balance of PFC there for me: protein (eggs), healthy fat (butter) and carbs (banana).

I just submitted final changes for the new layout so check back even later today or tomorrow for the new digs – I can’t wait to get rid of the pink background! Also, I’ve had multiple people ask me in the past few months (and more so in recent weeks) about PriorFatGirl shirts & bracelets so I’ll put up ordering information tomorrow.

Catch ya later!

Original article: How my decision last night effected my morning.

©2013 Prior Fat Girl. All Rights Reserved.

We had learned as parents that it works for Little Goat to have donuts after worship because otherwise it limits his ability to sit still for the whole service.  That works fine when we go to the first service, but we’d been running late and made it to the second service instead.  We told Little Goat that he could have a donut after worship if he did a good job.  He did great on Sunday and we went out only to find that the donuts were GONE!  This is heartache for a 4 yr old.  So Mr. Goat promised we could stop for a donut on the way home.

Except…

If you are a parent you know what happened next.  Little Goat ran around, refused to get in his car seat, was playing with the car and generally refusing to listen.  After several warnings, he lost his donut for the day.

He was not happy about this.

And frankly I wasn’t happy about it either, because I wanted a donut TOO!  But as a parent I knew it was the right thing to do.  He was acting up and not listening already, he didn’t need that behavior rewarded with sugar.  But I did so want that donut.

*****************************

Yesterday I read something online about how we need to act like parents to ourselves.  I wish I could remember where I read it, in which blog or facebook post, because it really resonated with me.  I think people, when they first become “adults,” have a sense of “I’m in charge now, I can do whatever I want.”  For many 20-somethings that might be clubbing, or drinking, or spending too much or whatever.  For me it was a freedom to buy and eat whatever I wanted.

Do you want just cake for dinner?  You can have that you are an adult now!

Go out to eat for the 5th time this week?  Why not!

The fact is that I was obese before I was on my own, but when given the freedom my problems only escalated.  I used to resent my mother’s attempts to get me to take my eating and diet seriously.  I resented it because while I knew it was true I wanted to ignore it and I didn’t want anyone telling me what to do!  (Teenage rebellion anyone?)

But the fact of the matter is that I need to parent myself the same way I would for little goat.  Little goat doesn’t need donuts every day.  He needs balanced meals and non processed ones too.  He needs variety and vegetables.  He needs to have his palate challenged by “good for you” foods.  He needs parents to help guide those decisions.  And it is hard.  It is hard to not give into the easy “mac and cheese” dinner, or to just go get the promised donut regardless of his behavior.  It is hard to find a balance of treats and the normal foods.  It is hard to know how much food is too much, or too little.

But in having Little Goat and soon another Baby Goat, I realize that I am the parent, and those are my decisions to make.  For them, and for me.  Being an adult doesn’t mean you are free from your parents, it just means that you have to act responsibility and be a parent to yourself.  And sometimes that means not having a donut, even if it makes you want to throw a fit.  Sometimes it means saying that “sometimes” has become “most times” and restricting yourself.

Think you are in the clear just because you don’t have kids?  Truly you are not because you have a life that you are responsible for.  It is your own.  And sometimes that means you will have to make decisions that the kid inside you doesn’t like.  Because that is what love as a parent means, you love someone enough to make hard decisions and not take the easy way out.  Love yourself enough to parent yourself.  Yes there will be tantrums, but you’ll love yourself all the more for it.

Original article: On Donuts and Parenting

©2013 Prior Fat Girl. All Rights Reserved.

Stating (June 2nd): 178.0lbs

Current (June 11th): 176.8lbs

Total weight loss: 1.2lbs

I’ve been digging simple food lately. I don’t know what happened but I lost my cooking mojo. It’s been almost a month and I’ve just had no excitement to make anything elaborate. Here’s a glimpse at what I ate yesterday:

Totally balanced, right? Protein + carbs +fat = YUM

I took yesterday off from working out but actually plan on getting sweaty TWICE today, because I want to. I want to get in about 30 minutes over lunch, just a warm up + weights and then tonight, I’m doing a Summer Barre Tone workout with Cassie tonight. The Summer Barre Tone workout is actually a 6 week class we are taking through community ed and I’m kind of nervous because it involves grace and, well, I don’t have much of that when we are talking workouts. The class description reads:

Combine the grace of ballet with a series of other forms of aerobic exercise. Adapting exercises from the dance studio with elements of Pilates and Yoga, Barre Tone Workout will improve your strength, endurance and flexibility.

Pray for me, that I find grace before tonight, ha! I felt like I was moving in today at work – I had my purse, snacks/lunch and workout bag with me:

This morning, I started the day with 2 hard-boiled eggs and a kale/blueberry/avocado smoothie. Well, those were the 3 main ingredients. I also added a splash of POM Juice, a bit of water and a spoonful of Dynamic Greens.

I bought Dynamic Greens a couples weeks ago and love the flavor it adds to smoothies. I anticipate questions about what it is so here’s a few sentences:

It provides a “super blend” of 100% natural fruit and vegetable extracts, vitamins, flax lignans, ionic trace minerals, enzymes, antioxidants, phytonutrients, and symbiotic intestinal flora. It contains no added sugars—only a touch of stevia (a plant-based sweetener.)  This dynamic blend supplies your body with improved energy, metabolism, fat-burning, digestion, detoxification, immunity, repair, recovery, revitalization, and longevity!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to plant this baby:

What is it you ask? It’s a COCONUT! One of our employee’s brought it up from Florida and gave it to the HR team here – it’s already sprouted and so now, I just need to plant it. I’m not sure what to expect out of it, here in MN. We’ll keep it inside and I think it’ll just be a tree, I doubt it’ll ever produce coconuts. Has anyone ever grown a coconut tree inside? Tips or tricks?

Original article: Now, to just keep going.

©2013 Prior Fat Girl. All Rights Reserved.