Catch and Release, Part I
Catch and Release, Part II
Catch and Release, Part III
There had been other guys there too, that night, but I was so distracted by Aaron that I didn’t bother getting to know any of them. It wasn’t until the following week, when Aaron wasn’t around (he lives in a different part of town, so he doesn’t make it out to the weeknight events) that I started taking time to get to know the other people in the dance community. I met two guys who go to the same church I do, one guy who’s a cameraman for a local news station, and a handful of others—all of whom were interesting. And since we were pretty much hanging out every night it didn’t take long for us to all exchange phone numbers and form a little group. In a matter of two weeks, Stephanie and I had basically fallen into a whole new group of friends.
Meanwhile, Aaron and I were staying in touch through text messages and the occasional phone call. It was just enough to keep things fun without being overly clingy or intense. When it came right down to it, we actually didn’t know each other that well. I mean yeah, we’d had this great night of dancing and then he’d blown my socks off with this amazing fairy-tale kiss, but that was pretty much it. So naturally, I was excited when he asked me if I wanted to go out for dinner before the social dance on Wednesday night last week.
Wednesday is typically the one day of the week when I leave my apartment in the morning and don’t see it again until nearly midnight, but miracle of miracles, I surely did manage to work in the time to get home, take a quick shower and spruce myself up before going out to meet him at Twisted Root for a hamburger. I picked out my twirly-est dress (hey, we were going dancing later) and buttoned up my green ruffled coat over it. I finished the outfit off with a purple scarf and pinned a lace flower in my hair. This much is true my friends, I love feeling feminine; I just never had the courage to own it when I was heavy.
When I walked through the door he was already sitting at a table waiting for me. Dang he looked good. All tall and handsome over there in that corner by himself. He pulled me into a bear hug and kissed my forehead. “Oh my, I didn’t realize how much I missed looking into those pretty eyes.”
I should have known better; I’ve had TexMex that was less cheesy than that line, and yet I bought it hook, line, and sinker. He tucked a stray curl behind my ear and started pulling my scarf from around my neck. “C’mon. Let’s put your stuff down and go get you some food. I want to hear what’s been going on in your life.”
We ordered two cheeseburgers and eased into conversation. Well, the first five minutes were easy. After that the conversation got a little more stilted and the awkward silences got a little more frequent. It’s ok, I told myself. First date weirdness is bound to happen. But the more we talked, the more I got the feeling we might not be as compatible in real life as we were on the dance floor. Ah well, no need to get worked up just yet. Time would tell.
“So you said you were out of town last weekend in Minneapolis?” Gulp. The PriorFatGirl Get Together. Don’t panic. He’s just asking a question. You don’t have to tell him everything right now. He didn’t ask you to disclose your major life issues. Let your past come up naturally. Ease into it when the conversation lends itself to that topic.
“Yeah, it was really nice. And by nice, I mean I think I might have frostbite.” Excellent deflection.
“Were you there for business or pleasure?”
“Um, a little of both I guess.” You’re doing good. Just. Act. Natural. Say you were there to visit a friend.
“A little of both, huh?” He paused before taking another bite of his burger. “That sounds intriguing. What kind of business/pleasure was it?”
GEEZ he asks a lot of questions. Can’t we talk about something else already? I went, I froze, I came back, it’s over. What more do you want to know Questions McQuestionsPants? Ok, breathe. Be vague, be casual. Remember: let the weight loss come up naturally.
“It was… I was… I lost fifty pounds last year.”
Nailed it.
He looked like a freeze frame. His mouth was hanging open in anticipation of the french fries that had been centimeters from his face. They now hung haphazardly from his hands while he stared at me unblinking.
“You… you what?”
“Well, yeah. I, I um, I lost some weight last year and so I was up there for a conference about weight loss.”
“Wow. Well, ok.” He took a minute to process what I’d just told him. “So that’s kind of a lot of weight.” He was trying to hide an ill-timed smile.
I couldn’t help it. It cracked me up, and then we were both laughing. It wasn’t really meant to be an ice-breaker, but somehow it had turned into that. “Well, yeah, I was pretty fatt…er.”
“Pretty fatt-er?” The corner of his mouth was raised in a half smile.
“Yeah, pretty fatt-er.” The tension was dissolving quickly now.
“I don’t think pretty fatt-er is even a thing. I think you just made that up. Do you have a picture?”
“Oh, totally.”
I got out my phone and scrolled until I found a particularly offending photo and handed it over to him.
“No way! Oh, wow. That doesn’t even look like you. Well, I mean it does. But it’s…” he looked up at me with a “yikes” expression on his face.
“I know!”
It shouldn’t have been such a funny moment, but it was. We had both put down our food and couldn’t quit laughing. Suddenly the entire situation was a lot less intimidating, and the conversation just sort of picked up from there. I told him that my dating background had been pretty nonexistent, there had been a few guys I’d spent time with over the years, but none of them were people that I saw myself having any kind of future with, and none of them had ever really pursued me. They had just sort of… happened. But having a guy actually put effort into getting to know me—that was all new territory.
“Well, that sort of explains a lot.” He was smiling. “Alright, well there are a few things you need to know now that you’re this—” he gestured toward me with his hand, “—and not that,” he pointed back at the picture on the phone. “Ok? But don’t worry; I’m going to help you out. Like one of the first things you have to learn is how to see through the ridiculous things guys are going to say. ”
“Like what?”
“Like corny lines about your beautiful eyes. Never believe that stuff.”
He gave me a sly grin and popped the last of his cheeseburger into his mouth. “Now are you going to let me take you dancing, or what?” He pulled my coat from the back of my chair and held it open.
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