I’m On A Boat… er, Will Be

With nearly a week of hard work under my belt, I’m finally moving past the initial funk that comes with starting the journey to healthiness. You know what I mean, the constant thoughts about giving in and giving up, the cravings, the bummer of realizing you aren’t going to wake up after a few days of “being good” and suddenly be at your goal weight.

After my run tonight, I was so thankful when I felt a twinge of pleasure at the pain in my calves and lungs and trickles of sweat running down my neck. How is that I manage to convince myself that I detest working out, when the truth is that it actually makes me feel so good about myself? If anything, it boosts my self-confidence and sets my imagination in motion. I start to daydream about all the things I think I could be, and all the things I think I could do. 5k? Sure! Little black dress? Watch me!

My college roommate and best friend, Ashley, called me last week with an offer I couldn’t refuse. Her Dad offered to include me on their family cruise to Alaska in June. Of course I said yes. Immediately, my thoughts went to my weight. What would I wear? Would I bring a bathing suit? And I don’t dare think about meeting somebody. It would be the most natural thing in the world to think of a cruise as a great opportunity to meet fun people, but it’s second nature for me to assume that’s a ballgame I’m just not able to play.

But you know what? That doesn’t have to be my destiny. I’m as capable as anybody of losing a little weight before this cruise, and while I’m committed to not putting myself on an unrealistic timeline, I do think it’s reasonable to set a goal of 30 pounds by June. One day at a time. One decision at a time.



  1. You’ve always been rather successful when you set a goal for yourself. Thats something I greatly admire about you. Just keep the end goal in focus too; the cruise, your birthday, and beyond.

  2. Wow, that cruise sounds amazing! Just to ease your mind about one item on your list: you won’t need a bathing suit. I’ve been to Alaska in June, and the high temps are in the 60s. And out on the water in a boat you’ll have a nice breeze on top of that cooling it further, so unless there are hot tubs, no need for a swimsuit. πŸ™‚

  3. I feel you! I am just trying to get back in the saddle too after gaining around 20lbs. Maybe I’ll work on getting down 30 by June with you. Happy to have you blogging again.

  4. Eek Alaska is amazing! If I wasn’t obese I would have brought a suite. We went June 14th this past year and it was literally 80 degrees in Ketchikan! It was a crazy hot streak and some of their hottest temperatures, like records! You never know what you might get so work hard and get into a swimsuit for the cruise! And definitely meet people! I went with my boyfriend and his family and we met some amazing people who are now friends for life! It’s such a great experience, so much fun. Enjoy it, love it, relax! I’m hoping to go back in September, hopefully this time around down 150 pounds from last time!

  5. I am thrilled you are back blogging. Hoping to see more… πŸ™‚

  6. Glad to see you blogging again! I was where you were in 2009. It took a year, but I lost 55 pounds and have kept it off for 3 years now. I have since met someone and just married him! So everything you write really resonates with me. I just want to say that yes it takes time, and a lot of hard work and dedication but I know you can do it. One of the things that worked for me was setting little goals along the way. It just feels good to reach those instead of always focusing on when will I be that size or weight. It is a lifestyle change but one that was well worth it for me. Good luck and I hope you continue to post. I love reading your stories!

  7. Yay, so glad you’re blogging again!! I’ve also dropped the deadlines and am allowing myself to be healthy and make smart decisions without the timelines. And I’m reminding myself that it’s ok to have little indulgences and treats now and then, or skip a day of exercise…the important thing is that you get back on track, pick it back up and keep on going. That’s the healthy lifestyle I’d like to live πŸ™‚

  8. Hi. I found your blog today. Let me just say, Please keep writing! Don’t make this a cliffhanger, I hate cliffhangers! I know your struggles and I understand your battles, intimately. I went from 220 to 170. I just turned 30 January 20th. I’m 5’4. The only difference is, I only wish my hair was as fabulous as yours! Oh, and I’m married and have a 5 yr old (baby weight no longer flies as an excuse). Marriage changes nothing, except to make it even that much harder (they never want to work out when you do, they never want to eat healthy when you do, they never even want sex when you do!) So I found someone who can overlook my fat. That is both his best and worst characteristic (this man observes nothing!) πŸ™‚ Regardless, I, just like you, have had to learn the hard way that this isn’t about other people. This is about me. I want to be comfortable in my own skin at some point in my life. This year, I am back to 193 (as of today). So, in tears and frustration, I went looking for inspiration and I found it, here. I am blown away by your courage. Oh, and one more thing. You are a terrific writer and story teller. As a voracious reader, I feel confident in saying so. Keep running the good race and please, keep inspiring the rest of us while you are at it! πŸ™‚

  9. Elle, Just checking in since it’s been several weeks since you have posted. Are you doing OK?

Speak Your Mind