Finding relaxation.

I went to dinner last week with my sister, and my friend Cassie.

The dinner was at my Heidi’s church – it was a dinner for women, followed by a service of holiday music and stories of 3 women who had gone through struggles in life, emerging on the other side stronger than ever. It was a perfect evening that put me in a serious Christmas mood!

Well, that and the foot of snow dumped on Minneapolis on Sunday evening! Such a perfect snowy weekend! I started the weekend a day early; I had been wanting to take a day off from work for awhile but didn’t really know what I’d do. When my sister, Heidi, needed someone to watch baby Grace, I jumped at the chance.

Iggy was fascinated by her and stuck by her side, as if he needed to protect her.

I’ve been trying to eat more carbs lately. Sounds opposite of a “healthiness” blog, doesn’t it?! The theory is to eat more of what you binge on, to stop the need or desire to binge on it. My dietitian gave me a goal of eating 6-8 servings of carbs a day. Oddly enough, it’s a lot harder than it sounds since I’ve had such a “diet” mentality for years.

One way I’ve been doing it is by eating yogurt with berries and some granola.

My dietitian says if I eat more carbs evenly over multiple days, I’ll be less likely to overindulge or binge on them. I’m willing to try anything and since she’s an expert, I’m going for it. Trust the process.

I went to my first Ugly Sweater Party on Saturday. The sweater wasn’t the ugliest I’d found but it reminded me of my mom – in the late 80’s/early 90’s, she totally wore puffy paint homemade sweaters!

At the party, I found a bowl of vodka gummy bears. Has anyone tried these? Apparently the are just a bag of gummy bears soaked in a bottle of cherry vodka.

I may have had a handful or two of them – and they may have tasted delicious! I was driving home that night so thankfully they didn’t get me intoxicated 🙂

I was glad Sunday was a snow day because I had a project I wanted to get done. Hanging wedding photos!

I hung them in our bedroom and absolutely love them all. I spent a couple hours curled up in bed on Sunday reading a book and gazing at the photos. It was such a magical day!

I’ve noticed the past couple weeks how much more relaxed I am. I’ve even taken a couple baths which I haven’t done in YEARS! Such a peaceful feeling allowing myself to be completely submerged in hot water, laying there consciously aware of the way the water feels as I slowly move my legs, fingers and arms. It really is a beautiful experience; such a simple experience.

I’m excited to go to work Monday. I’m meeting a friend, Jessica at the gym after work so it means I can get up and try to get on the road early and beat some of the snowy traffic, if there is any. Work has been extremely busy lately. We are hiring like crazy, which is a good thing in this economy but it means I’m inundated with phone and face-to-face interviews.

That said, I need to close the laptop and zone out so I can get a good nights sleep.


  1. It sounds like you are in a great place! I love the purple top you are wearing in the first picture.

    I agree with your dieticiain’s advice about spreading out the carbs and having it in moderation. If I go cold-turkey, I am so irritable and actually crave it more!

  2. The going ‘cold turkey’ on carbs can be a real problem for people and this is why so many diets fail. Any sort of diet that deprives us of the things that we enjoy and are accostomed to will fail eventually. It takes a great deal of self control to stay away from such foods for long and most people simply don’t have that.

    There’s also another side to that coin. By focusing constantly on what not to eat, you’ll actually be negatively impacting the most important side of dieting – your subconscious. When we focus on something it becomes ‘programmed’ into us and focusing on dieting is never a good thing to do in the long run.

    Thats why I agree with spreadign carbs evenly and in moderation. If you cut them out completely, you’ll invariably rebound with any weight you lose. It really comes down to portion sizes and what types of carbs you’re having at the end of the day.

  3. I was wondering if you got the snow. Be careful driving this morning.

  4. I agree….portion sizes. I could not completely cut out carbs…shakes head…uh uh!

  5. Hi Jen,
    I am so happy life has been going so well for you. I too started to go to a specialized doctor for disordered eating. I am not sure if you have seen it or not but the ‘Recovery Record’ application for smartphones was recommended to me and it is awesome and such a powerful tool on this journey. It’s free and definitely worth a shot to check out. It gives inspirational messages too which is always nice 😉

  6. Does she have you strive to eat carbs more consistently so your blood sugar is more stable? Maybe I’ll try that to see if I can curb my current french fry habit 🙂


  1. […] Eating more has proven more difficult than I thought. Ridiculous. It’s the homework my dietitian gave me at the beginning of December. I was on top of it the first week but have become increasingly frustrated with keeping up with it, mostly because I’ve found myself “stuck” in a disordered eating mind frame. It’s harder than I thought to break through. The part that I’ve been struggling with is hitting my “goal” for grains and fats. It’s so against what I’ve done for years and my mind is so focused on the old way of thinking, it’s a fight to change. […]

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