The truth is…
I’ve eat 3 Fiber One brownies in one afternoon.
I have stretch marks.
I sometimes snore.
I ask a lot of questions.
I have really big calves & thighs.
I haven’t read a book in years.
I’ve had breakfast for dinner for the past three weeks.
I like taking care of Carlos.
I don’t always eat my vegetables.
I can be passive-aggressive.
I eat Oreos.
And the truth is…
I’m really happy lately.
And I’m realizing how much I love life outside of the blog. I’ve loved blogging the past couple of years, sharing my journey, frustrations and successes as it relates to healthiness and life. I cannot imagine my life without PriorFatGirl. A year ago, if you’d had asked me what my hopes were, I’d probably have told you my hope was to continue to let PriorFatGirl grow and develop, hoping one day I could concentrate full time on it. Speaking, organizing meet-ups, writing for other outlets, and all the other fun stuff I’ve had the honor of doing.
But the truth is, hopes can change year from year. In the past year, something has changed. I can’t point out one specific moment. But at some point, I realized…I don’t want to be defined by this blog. I don’t want to be known as the girl who has the blog. I don’t to be known for who I am online.
The truth is, I like who I am off-line. I enjoyed that week off from blogging more than I realized I would. I felt guilty for enjoying it as much as I did. Until I realized I am not my blog.
The truth is, it scares me a little (actually a lot), to not have this blog. Before the blog, I was overweight and shunned all attention. I wanted to blend in and not be noticed. I agreed with everyone so as not to have to say what I really felt. As I started to lose weight, blogging became my side-kick. Through blogging, I met friends, was given amazing opportunities and found myself. There were a couple of years when I lost myself in the blog. I was one and the same. I associated myself with the blog and lost me. Now that I’ve found myself (and continue to find myself) I want to experience life, not be in front of a computer.
I’m never going to be a full-time blogger. I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be known as Jen, a priorfatgirl. I want to be me. I don’t want to be tied to writing, to a schedule, to my online presence.
Have no fear: I’m not quitting just yet. I’m excited to share with you the Future PriorFatGirl nominations next week and can’t wait to get your input. I’m still here but moving forward, I’m just going to blog when I feel like it. Maybe that means I’ll still write every day for the next two weeks. Maybe it means I’ll update at 7pm.
The truth is, I am a real person.
{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
I totally understand what you mean. I’ve been feeling the same thing myself lately. A lot.
Also? I love you. You are real and you are awesome!
Heck yeah you are a real person, and that is why so many of us love you and your blog…we can relate! The Fiber 1 brownies..cracked me up. I have bought several boxes for my kids and hubby..but never tried them..I was afraid if they were good I would gobble up more than one as well. I have a horrible habit of doing that. Now I know not to ever try them!! But I will admit to eating 2 frozen sugar free pudding cups last night! Bwahaha!
I totally get it. I just started blogging 6 or 7 weeks ago, and I’m already not sure that I want to stick with it!
The truth is, things serve a purpose in our lives for as long as they are good for us.
My pastor has been talking lately about life being a relay race…about knowing when you are moving out of one season and into another…about passing the baton. I think this completely applies here!
And Jen, a lady always knows when to leave.
Your choices for your life and your blog will no doubt be supported by all of your readers, because whether we’ve been reading you for days, months, or years, we are cheering for you. We support you because you are authentic with us, because you don’t hold back, because we honestly want the best for you.
Best wishes in every area, no matter what you decide.
It sounds like you took a much needed breather
Hi Jen,
I only recently found your blog and I have to say I love it, it’s one of those blogs I really really enjoy seeing has a new post. Having said that I am always amazed at how much dedication bloggers have – how they document, share and offer such insights. I think it’s wonderful that you remain true to yourself. Regardless of what you decide, in the short time I’ve been part of this journey, it’s made me happy to read (and relate) to your stories. Thanks for sharing and enjoy the next steps of your journey.
I love reading your blog, your honesty is refreshing and motivating. But, we have one life. Live it for yourself and those around you that you love. Whatever you decide, we will be here supporting you and cheering you on!
Not being a blogger (but reading a LOT of blogs), I don’t know how you all do it —–> coming up with ideas, getting those those from brain to paper, exposing your thoughts/feelings. Phew!
I do enjoy your blog, but you’re right: you gotta LIVE life!
This is exactly why I love reading your blog – you are real.
I find there are weeks where I blog every day – then other times, I go weeks without it.
Congratulations on being you and not apologizing for being different now than you were years ago.
I certainly love this blog. It was an inspiration to me to start blogging about my own healthiness struggles. But I agree it shouldn’t define you and you are a real person outside of blogging. Whatever you decide I am sure you will have lots of support and if you choose to only write once a week good for you.
I am sure everyone will keep coming back to even read that one post. Thanks for letting us all read your story.
I didn’t realize how much blogging took until I took your class. I had high expectations of myself! However, now I’ve learned that I’m setting those standards rather than just doing it for me, which was my intention in the first place, so I’ve become more lax.
Love reading your blog, Jen, but completely understand that taking a step back helps us learn to live!
I think it will be great when you expand the priorfatgirl family that there will be others there to inspire us, too.
Cheers to all your future successes!
AMAZING post!
Not that I don’t enjoy coming here, seeing also as it’s how I met you, but I’m really glad you’ve discovered this. I like Jen, priorfatgirl, but I like Just Jen even more
I totally get this. After several years of blogging, sometimes it loses its magic. Actual *life* after weight loss is more magical
Enjoy!
i give many of you bloggers credit for your hard work & dedication. i imagine maintaining your online identities and posts is extremely time consuming.
with that said, i always find it interesting when bloggers write about how they need a break… as if you owe your readers an explanation as to why you might not want to write something every. single. day. you have a life outside of the blog, you don’t owe anyone an explanation if you don’t show up here for a week or two. just live your life, don’t let the blog live you.
I think this is great. I like the real you too and I’m happy she’s happy just being her. IMHO – That week off was perfect and while I’ll admit I missed your updates – it seemed like just what you needed. I’ve noticed that the posts since the break may be a little less frequent but have been more interesting and more You!
I agree with Mishy. You don’t owe anyone anything – a blog is something that a blogger starts to put their thoughts and feelings out there, and the feedback is a great part of that…but when it starts feeling like there is pressure to post, or you HAVE to post, the blog has taken over, and its original positive aspects are lost.
Blog if and when you feel like it – period!
Well, considering this blog is how I met you – I will always be grateful that you started it and were successful at it. Having said that, I love you – the real life you and I actually feel bad for those that only get to read your blog and not actually get to know you in real life. You are great online but you are even more awesome and a wonderful, supportive friend in real life. I have always looked up to you and your ability to manage this blog world – as you know, I blog when and I if I feel like it – I do miss it sometimes, but the many reasons that make it hard for me to find time to blog are the things that make my life full and healthy – including having friends like you.
Hyperventilating! Okay, breathe…..Wah! I don’t know what I’ll do when the time comes but KUDOS DARLIN’! You just go and live that fabulous life of yours. (and I’m ticked I missed that there are going to be new priorfatgirl(s) I wanna!!!!)
I hate to put a stick in the wheel, but I beg to differ: I don’t think you’re very happy.
There is a lot of pressure in blogging and and running a blogging community and yet struggling so bad with the one thing that everyone looks up to you for.
Your posts for the last few months have been very bland and lacking in content and it’s sad to see you lose your spark! Maybe it will be good for you, some of the best bloggers I know only post a few times a week. I mean, it’s nice to wake up to new posts in my reader every morning but I thing in some cases quality is way better than quantity.
Good luck, Jen. I hope it all works out for you.
I also hope people can respect my opinion and not bash the crap out of me.
No way, no one will bash the crap out of you and if they do, they would be very rude and incorporate.
I think you make some very good points! I do want to clarify though, in real life, I am actually really happy. What you have noticed in the posts the last few months is that I lost my spark in posting and I can only imagine that some readers picked up on it through my writing. Writing can be so transparent – even if I’m talking about something completely irrelevant, I’m sure some of you often read between the lines. Sometimes, the reading between the lines is correct, and sometimes, it is not. That’s the difficulty of blogs is that it isn’t real life, it’s words.
I totally get what your saying regarding quality vs. quantity. I got into a habit of posting 5 times a day and at some point, thought people would stop reading if I skipped a day. But this past year, I’ve really started to realize if that’s what I’m worried about, then am I really blogging for myself? Or, did I at some point, blog to blog?
So while I disagree with the fact that you think I’m actually unhappy, I agree with some of the other points you made
I am wondering if your early blogging was reaching out to others to boost you and support you through your weight loss, and now, you ARE happy with yourself and don’t need the constant stroking?? And that’s a good thing!! Be happy in real-life and tell us about it in blog-world. I write for myself, and it isn’t more than a couple times a month, but its tells me I’ve got a grip on my real-world and am OK with getting through it on my own. But it IS nice when someone compliments your writing or your accomplishments you wrote about. Will still look for your posts, whenever they may be!
Do you remember that New Kids On The Block song? In my best Joe Mcintyre voice Im singing “Please dont go guuuuurl!”
When it happens, we’ll miss you!
I felt kinda sad reading this, because I don’t ever want you to go away! But I know you have to do what’s best for you.
I hope you continue blogging in some capacity, even if it’s only once every two weeks,, just to let us know how you are. Good luck with everything!
I’m sure what I’m about to say has been commented on already(I didn’t go through them all) and will probably be followed by me in other’s comments…While you will be missed, I think it’s amazing that you are truly happy in your life and don’t NEED to blog anymore. I think we all assume that because there are new posts daily that you are happy doing it. If you’ve come to the realization, either through your week off or otherwise, that you aren’t happy blogging as much or at all, then I say, good for you. I don’t know what your reasons were to start this blog and I’m sure your reasons to continue have changed throughout the years but, if you aren’t “feeling” it anymore, then I’m happy you’re recognizing what DOES make you happy.
You have so much to look forward to in the future, including your wedding and marriage, and as much as I will miss reading your posts, I wish you only the best in whatever your future brings.
Thank you for everything you’ve done to help me because even though you don’t know me, you’ve touched my life in many ways and I really appreciate it. Congrats again!
Bridgette
I understand completely. I still enjoy blogging because my husband is still sick and we don’t go out. At all. My blog helps me connect socially the way I am not able to in real life.
No worries – we’ll be here when and if you blog!
I think you should do whatever you need to do. You have such a full life with Carlos and the wedding and everything…the blog should not be a chore or something extra to the day. Post when you feel you have something to post about. Yes a few less people might stop by at first, but there’s a whole lot of life out there to live. The community you built is something ot be proud of and it continue
it will continue
I think taking a step back to consider your priorities is important. I almost applied for the ‘future’ PFG gig, but wasn’t sure how I could maintain my own blog(s) plus the additional posts – so guess that means I’m looking at my own priorities as well.
I’m about to cut back to a 4day working week to give me more time to write and blog. It’s a big decision as I’m single with a mortgage etc… but I’ve decided to do more of what I enjoy. (So, guess I really am prioritising!)
Deb