The truth is…
I’ve eat 3 Fiber One brownies in one afternoon.
I have stretch marks.
I sometimes snore.
I ask a lot of questions.
I have really big calves & thighs.
I haven’t read a book in years.
I’ve had breakfast for dinner for the past three weeks.
I like taking care of Carlos.
I don’t always eat my vegetables.
I can be passive-aggressive.
I eat Oreos.
And the truth is…
I’m really happy lately.
And I’m realizing how much I love life outside of the blog. I’ve loved blogging the past couple of years, sharing my journey, frustrations and successes as it relates to healthiness and life. I cannot imagine my life without PriorFatGirl. A year ago, if you’d had asked me what my hopes were, I’d probably have told you my hope was to continue to let PriorFatGirl grow and develop, hoping one day I could concentrate full time on it. Speaking, organizing meet-ups, writing for other outlets, and all the other fun stuff I’ve had the honor of doing.
But the truth is, hopes can change year from year. In the past year, something has changed. I can’t point out one specific moment. But at some point, I realized…I don’t want to be defined by this blog. I don’t want to be known as the girl who has the blog. I don’t to be known for who I am online.
The truth is, I like who I am off-line. I enjoyed that week off from blogging more than I realized I would. I felt guilty for enjoying it as much as I did. Until I realized I am not my blog.
The truth is, it scares me a little (actually a lot), to not have this blog. Before the blog, I was overweight and shunned all attention. I wanted to blend in and not be noticed. I agreed with everyone so as not to have to say what I really felt. As I started to lose weight, blogging became my side-kick. Through blogging, I met friends, was given amazing opportunities and found myself. There were a couple of years when I lost myself in the blog. I was one and the same. I associated myself with the blog and lost me. Now that I’ve found myself (and continue to find myself) I want to experience life, not be in front of a computer.
I’m never going to be a full-time blogger. I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be known as Jen, a priorfatgirl. I want to be me. I don’t want to be tied to writing, to a schedule, to my online presence.
Have no fear: I’m not quitting just yet. I’m excited to share with you the Future PriorFatGirl nominations next week and can’t wait to get your input. I’m still here but moving forward, I’m just going to blog when I feel like it. Maybe that means I’ll still write every day for the next two weeks. Maybe it means I’ll update at 7pm.
The truth is, I am a real person.