Truth: Maintaining is harder than losing.
I feel like a failure, like a poor example of healthiness. I feel helpless and lost. I am frustrated with the healthiness journey and mostly myself.
Do I want this? Do u want to gain the weight back? Do I really want to undo everything I’ve worked do hard for?
No. I know the answer. I didn’t let mom’s death be an excuse and I’m sure as hell not going to let post surgery gain take over.
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It happens to everyone! You’ve gotten off track, but you can get back on! You did it once and you can do it again! I too am kind of in the same boat right now
We’ll get through it!!
Are you actually unhealthy or have you just gained weight? And I don’t say “just” lightly. But there is a difference and gaining weight does not necessarily equal “unhealthy.” Focus on what’s good and right in your world…focus on health not weight…focus on what truly feels good (and we both know what that means). Beating oneself up rarely feels good. Hugs…
Karen is wise. I recommend focusing more on your habits, less on the pounds. If you’ve experienced portion creep, been eating out too much, hitting the junk food too hard, eating until you’re stuffed, etc., then look at why you’ve let those habits back in and do the necessary work to weed them back out.
But regaining some weight, alarming as it might be, is not necessarily bad. The plural of anecdote is not data, but here’s one for you: Between January 2008 and September 2009, I lost 145 pounds, going from 282 to 137 on my 5’7″ frame. Whether the big weight loss in and of itself was too much too fast for my body’s homeostasis or I went too low for my body to be happy, I actually had some minor but nonetheless annoying health problems. (TMI alert!) My periods became irregular and actually disappeared for four months—not ideal when one is trying to get pregnant! I developed pancytopenia (too-low levels of all the blood cell types) and went through extensive testing before a hematologist concluded that it was probably my body’s stress reaction to the weight loss.
Over the last year and a half, I’ve put 10–15 pounds back on (high end of that if I’ve been hitting the starch and salt too hard). Part of me feels like a failure for not maintaining my lowest weight. But I’m trying to take my own advice to you, look at how my habits have changed (portion creep? check. lunchtime walks that end at the frozen yogurt shop? check.) and try to find the balance between not gaining the rest of the weight back and not letting an obsession with maintaining the lowest weight possible rule my life. Despite—or even because of—the slight gain, I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been in my life, at 37. And while I still have a bit of the pancytopenia, (TMI alert!) my periods have become more regular again.
Best of luck to you as you regain your footing. The weight will fall into place…
And re-losing is harder than losing…
I’ve been trying to re-engage with my mojo and it’s been a lot of fits and starts so far.
One of my realizations has been that I’ve kind of let “talking the talk” overtake “walking the walk.”
It’s tough to keep up with the blogging and Facebooking and tweeting and, let’s face it, it’s a lot of butt-in-the-chair work. I’m going to try to gear down on some of it and gear up on the activity.
We’ve got this.
Game on.
Jen, I hope you’re having a good day (after the “wardrobe malfunction”) and that my earlier comment read as what it is: just the truth, which sometimes isn’t pretty. You take a lot of risks being honest with your readers, and I think you deserve honesty (not feel-good sugarcoating) in return…including being honest with yourself. I was inspired to write a post today about the subject of maintenance because of your honesty with all of us.
I am all too familiar with feeling like a failure, and feeling helpless and lost…not fun, my heart goes out to you
I agree with Norma – Jillian would say if you aren’t keeping track of what you are eating (whether thru calories or points) then you can’t really say you are in the right range. Its so easy to miscalculate when we aren’t really keeping track on paper.
You are definately not a failure; you are a true inspiration. Don’t ever feel like a failure. You are a real women with a real life; life happens. Hang in there, the weight will come back off.
*hug*. Being only halfway to my goal 2.5 years into my journey I feel your pain.
Hang in there! You’ll get it off. Like you said if your mom’s death didn’t cause you to gain it all back, then nothing will.
Yeah, I totally relate. I lost 70 pounds 4 years ago and have gained 10 back in the past 4 months. A bad breakup with someone I worked with and then leaving that job because of it has caused me to pacify myself with food. I just finished off a half gallon of frozen yogurt. Do I feel better? No, I feel fatter. I know I need to get back on the wagon before it gets any more out of control. It’s definitely not easy and anyone who says it is can only speak for themselves. You’ll get back on track, just like I will… When we are ready. We just have to be ready.
Thank you for being honest! You needed time to heal. Now it is time to get back on track. I didn’t understand your tweet the other day and now it makes sense. You know what you need to do to get where you want to go. You have the big poster on the wall and you have your food journal. You can do it, we all believe in you! Thanks for showing me the way…
Run, don’t walk, and get a copy of Refuse to Regain , 12 tough rules to keep the body you’ve earned in weight maintenance. By Barbara Berkeley MD.
I just started a 90 day opt out( see the book) to kick off my 3rd attempt at permanent weight maintenance. Don’t give up. Keep going.
Blog about the book if you like the 12 rules. The ideas in the book totally clicked for me
Must have been Monday – I had the same sort of day! ((( hugs )))
Dawn
Jen, you are NOT a failure. And while you have had a lot going on recently, making excuses will not help you – excuses can never help, that will only hinder you, and I’m glad you recognize that. Now, go out and get it!
I know how you feel. In August 2009 I started my journey and by October 2010 i reached my lowest at 169 lbs. 2011 was the roughest year I had in which I made the decision to put my work and career first before my health. My weight was OK, but not much fluctuation. After a few months on business travel (December 2011 – February 2012) I came back and weighed myself at 190.5 lbs. I have felt myself feeling sorry, but my trainer assured me that I will get back to where I want to be. Don’t lose faith Jen. I am feeling the same way as you are. You are an inspiration for being so honest to all of your readers. You know what to do!
From a former fat guy, to a skinny guy, to a fat guy again…
I UNDERSTAND.
It’s hard. I hear you.
Don’t give up? I won’t, either.
-Silas
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