I am blown away by the comments yesterday.
I asked you yesterday “What keeps you motivated?” and over 50 of you responded. A few even went so far as to send me personal emails with their thoughts typed out. While every single reason was absolutely perfect, I found myself drawn to one reason multiple people mentioned.
Vanity.
Vanity kept them healthy.
Google defines vanity as….
van·i·ty/ˈvanətē/
| Noun |
|
Can vanity really keep us healthy?
I did not realize it until I read the comments yesterday that this is one of my reasons too. Because of vanity. I’m not vain. Vanity and vain are not to be confused. Google defines vain as…
vain/vān/
| Adjective: |
|
To have vanity is to take excess pride in my appearance but to be vain is to show excessive opinion of my own appearance. I can take pride in my appearance without showing it.
When I first started, I wanted to be skinny.
I did not realize that by removing the layers of physical fat on my body, I would expose the emotional fat that clogged my thinking. I chuckle to myself now because of the ignorance I had when I first started this journey. “Once I lose weight, then everything will be all right!” I’d tell myself. I really thought that. But the truth is, being a PriorFatGirl will not cure all. Being skinny will not fix everything. It will only remove obstacles in your way so that you can begin to concentrate on other areas of your life.
A few months ago, I received an email from a reader who told me she could no longer read my blog. Her email said…
I take offense at the assertion that life is better as a PFG with all of these moments because it also implies that those of us CFGs [current fat girls] have, ironically, a less than life. And the message of “You can have this too. Your life can be better” makes me yell at my computer screen–why do you assume that being a PFG will make my life better?
I never replied – what was I to say? Um… congratulations, glad you can’t read my blog anymore!?” (I got the email right before my surgery so aside from the fact that I didn’t really know what to say, life got in the way of a response.) The only reason why I post this now is because a few weeks ago, the writer wrote a blog post about the letter, saying that she was still bothered by the issue, that I never responded to her and posted her entire letter she originally sent me in November on her blog-her email is no longer private. ( I never commented on her blog post either because I’m not about to argue with someone about what their take away is from my blog. Today’s post is not to scream at her so please, no negative talk toward her. Today’s post is the assertion that life as a PriorFatGirl will fix everything.)
To all of readers out there, being a PriorFatGirl will NOT make your life perfect. Being skinny does not cure anything other than maybe some physical side effects. Sure, I am much happier healthy but I am not “fixed” or “cured” or “healed.” Losing weight helped me to appreciate who I was as a person, which was hidden behind the layers of fat. Losing weight removed the layers I hid behind. It revealed what was really there, the good and the to-be-improved.
Can vanity keep us healthy? I take pride in my appearance. Excessive pride? Probably. Does it keep me healthy? Probably.
We all have our reasons. Family, children, ourselves, our future, our vanity.
Whatever that reason is?
I say LIVE IT, OWN IT, BREATH IT.
Disclosure: The above is not to say people who are overweight do not take pride in their appearance or hide who they are. What I’m explaining is my experience. Do not assume I am implying my experiences are yours too if in fact you did not experience the same.
{ 52 comments… read them below or add one }
Is this a typo?
“To all of readers out there, being a PriorFatGirl will make your life perfect.”
It was a typo – I proof read multiple times and must have added the word “not” in my mind. I just updated the sentence.
Jen, : editorial note. In your paragraph that begins, “To all of you readers out there,” I think you meant to say “will NOT make your life perfect” (it says “will make” — I know you write early in the day like I often do!).
Good differentiation between “vanity” and “vain.” This was and is, for me, all about setting the bar high and continuing to raise it. I find that the vast majority of people expect very little of themselves…and deliver the bare minimum. I want to be better than that.
Morning Norma – thanks for the quick heads up. I added the word NOT
I disagree with you – losing weight changed my life…it changed who I was and am. It changed EVERYTHING. And life *IS* better as a former fat chick than it could have ever been as a fat chick. Those readers who may have commented that they are offended by your words (or anyone elses) because they are still fat – are just lashing out – because – they are still fat, and they dont know what its like to be on the Other Side. You dont know how bad it is, until it isnt anymore.
Everything is a choice. Choose real food. Do real exercise. Live real life. And your life will change.
Do not assume that those of us who are still fat, do not know what it is like to be on the other side. You do not know everyone’s personal story so please, do not bunch all fat people together.
I have to say, I’m completely offended by your comment of “Those readers who may have commented that they are offended by your words (or anyone elses) because they are still fat – are just lashing out – because – they are still fat” and no, it is not because I am FAT! Just because I get offended over someone’s words have nothing to do with me being FAT. It has to do with me being a person and having a right to my own opinion! Or did I lose the right to my own opinion once I gained weight and became fat?
I apologize for lashing out, but then again, I am fat, so that is what we do, right?
I agree with you, I’m offended by the statement that statement too, and I’m not fat!
Be offended all you want. But I dont think there is a single overweight or obese person that wouldnt prefer to be a normal weight. Who wants to be fat? No one.
But what your saying is two different things. Yes, I agree I would never want to go back to being the size that I am. AGREED. But I do not believe that those who lash out are lashing out only because they are fat. That is a blanket statement that stems purely from judgmental thought. I am offended and I am not fat therefore, your statement does not apply.
you’re =)
Your. You’re wrong
“Everything is a choice. Choose real food. Do real exercise. Live real life. And your life will change.”
Ummm … what if people are fat and yet ARE living a real life? I think it’s pretty arrogant to tell people they aren’t living a real life just because they’re fat. For you, the two may have been connected, but for others, they may not be. What about people who are skinny but don’t follow this advice you gave? Are they living “real” lives just because they’re skinny? I think we have to be really careful about taking it upon ourselves to label the lives of other people whom we haven’t even met. They get to decide when their lives are “real” – not you or anyone else. I’m glad your life is better now, but that doesn’t mean that every other fat person is living the life that you used to live.
CFG here…losing weight is not the magic bullet to a wonderful life. But to realized that you may use food as a comfort to deal with the emotions…the fat to hide and protect yourself from living life as a “normal” person can be enlightening. I struggle everyday to control myself with food. Somedays I do better than others. The bottom line is that being overweight is not how I want to live my life. Therefore it is MY choice to lose it, to read a blog, or to make time to do what I need to do for ME. This does not work for everyone and that is ok because whoever you are CFG OR PFG you have to lead the life that YOU want…and not the life that someone else is.
Lol. Denial keeps many stuck.
My pants fit so I Zip them. Maybe that is vain, but it’s better than a hospital gown for weight related illness.
Safe travels to all going down the weightloss road. Never perfect but worth the trip once the excuses are removed, in my opinion.
Ann is absolutely right: Losing excess weight and, of course, KEEPING IT OFF THROUGH PERMANENT, NON-NEGOTIABLE CHANGES, absolutely does result in vast improvements in pretty much every facet of life. No one’s life is perfect. But not having to deal with being fat on top of all the other things we can’t control makes them all much easier to navigate. Not to mention the clothes.
Every one of us can always do better and if you don’t go hard on yourself, who will? I’ve got my haters, and I love it…they motivate me to kick more ass.
I hope this doesn’t sound horrible… But if that reader didn’t think her life would be better in some way, shape of form by becoming a PFG then why was she wanting to lose weight???
I think the reader’s point was that it is not a magical cure all, and that her life wasn’t some completely awful story as a fat girl. Her life as a fat person has its downs but also its ups, just like her life as a skinny person would. That doesn’t mean she can’t also think she would have better health or something if she lost weight. I think that’s what she was saying.
Sorry – I didn’t mean for this post to debate her comments. I totally get what she is saying. The post today is if vanity can keep us motivated
Yup, I got your point! The commenter just seemed confused about the point of the email you used in your post, so I was just trying to clarify. I didn’t mean to sidetrack!
I agree with what you’re saying but I think if people say their life is great in every way when they are overweight, why do they want to lose weight.
I’m 50 pounds down with 50 to go. Before I lost weight my life was great but not as good as it could have been.
Didn’t mean to critique that particular emailer but just wanted to bring up the point
Well said.
I, for one, had a wonderful life when I was heavier, except for the physical effects of being overweight. My family was healthy and intact, my husband loved me in all ways just as I was, I had friends and a full life. But then my knees started to hurt…and I my largest size clothes I’d ever worn started getting tight, but I wasn’t pregnant.
As you said, when I began to lose the pounds the layers of why I ate so much began to show through and now my journey has become so much more than losing weight – it’s become losing the fear of failure, the I-don’t-deserve-it attitude and more.
Looking better in an outfit is just the proverbial ‘icing on the cake’. (with no calories! LOL)
Have a great weekend, Jen!
“Once I lose weight, then everything will be all right!” – I hear this all the time from my best friend and it KILLS me. What kills me more is that it is something you have to learn for yourself, so all I feel I can do is listen (unless someone has some advice as to on to respond). This journey is HARD and worth it for me but reaching my goal weight is not going to fix everything and the journey isn’t over once I get there. You’ve helped me see this, Jen! Thanks
What Ann said…that was my take as well. We often lash out at the “other side” due to our own fears and insecurities. A fervent need to feel okay with our present status.
We do need to live in the present and have a degree of peace with our current moment, but it is illogical that there wouldn’t be aspects of our lives that would improve with better health and wellness.
I agree with Ann. Whoever this person is probably lashed out because she is trying to rationalize staying/being fat.
I also agree with Anna!
It was also interesting to me to see so many responses about vanity on the previous post…I was glad to see the honesty there.
Profound thoughts and statements here today.
“I did not realize that by removing the layers of physical fat on my body, I would expose the emotional fat that clogged my thinking. ”
Wow, Jen. I had to re-read that a few times. Quite empowering.
I recently saw a headline on the cover of a magazine:
“Sitting is the new Smoking.”
Wow. Another one that had me thinking and has kept me thinking for weeks. I never was a smoker, but grew up with an entire extended family who was. Imagine dozens of people smoking *inside* during holiday gatherings.
I had a negative image of smoking. Not because I thought that these were bad or “weak” people, but because it was unhealthy!
“Sitting is the new Smoking” hit me because it put me as an overweight person (or FPFG – which is the term I’d prefer to use rather than CFG) on the “other” side.
It is unhealthy to be inactive. So while vanity may be a part of what motivates us, isn’t in the end what we are trying to do become healthier? Both physically and emotionally?
Life may not be perfect as a PFG, but can it really be argued that life is not better when we are healthier than when we are not?
I was one of the people who responded yesterday saying that vanity was my #1 reason to keep the weight off. I really love this post.
I really like all the discussions this is inspiring, and here i just my 2 cents. When I was fat, I was totally ignorant about how much my life stunk. I had (still have) great friends, a great husband, a great family, a great job. But now? I have self confidence. I never, ever, ever, ever, ever think to myself “do I look fat in this?” because I’m not fat anymore. I can’t even say how completely wonderful that feeling is.
And when I was fat, I didn’t believe anyone who said being fit was better. Now I do. Because I made that journey. But, maybe people really can be happy and fat/obese. And maybe they are happy staying that way. Jen once said, my body, my decision, your body, your decision. That’s my new motto on such things
I agree, I really don’t understand what the letter writer is getting all worked up about. You never said life would be “perfect” as a healthy, fit person, you just said it would be “better” than life as a sedentary, overweight/obese person.
And … uhm….. it is.
Who can possibly deny that? You’re the same person, only you look better, feel better, and are healthier. What’s to argue here? Yeah, you might still have other problems to deal with, but you’d still have those problems if you were overweight/obese too. “Better” and “Perfect” are not the same word.
You dont know how bad it is until it isnt anymore. You just dont know how much better your life could be without the extra weight.
For me, personally, vanity will not keep me inspired. Yes, I want to be thin and have lean muscle but it is not my only reason to be healthy. It takes so long to get to the point of being thin that if I were to focus on just that I would give up.
Am I excited for the moment when I feel beautiful and see all my hard work? Yes. But I’m not focusing only on it. I did that once and it led to me not eating/purging. So for me, vanity can not be my main motivator.
But for others? It may work.
I don’t really buy into the belief that “fat” girls can’t lead fulfilling lives or have respect for their bodies.
Starting my weight loss journey was a result of developing respect for other aspects of my being–my personality, my career success, my family, my relationship… I wanted a healthy body to match the healthy life and healthy attitude I was fostering. Choosing to start my weightloss journey (which I’m right in the middle of) was a step to prove to myself that I was worth it, and anyone who had made that realization–300 lb or 130 lb–deserves tons of respect. Weight loss journeys started in a place of self-hatred fail because you need to believe you’re WORTH it. Self love and self respect is not entirely tied to weight, and it’s not something you develop the day you reach your goal. It’s all part of the journey. So is learning to like what you see in the mirror.
Right now, I’m fat, but I’m awesome. I’m getting awesomer (?) by the day–because I’m making healthy choices, and ones that make me happy.
oh goodness girl. I love this topic. I have been thin, I have been morbidly obese, I have been fat (still am) but getting closer to being thin again. It is mental. It is physical. It is emotional. I have been discriminated against while obese. I don’t want to go back to that.
I want to be healthy. I want to be thin again. But above all, I want to be happy. Fat doesn’t make ME happy. Everyone has their own opinions about it. No one is the above all authority on how other people feel. We all have to respect each other’s feelings and if you can’t do that, don’t read blogs or comment, right?
I don’t think I’m saying this how I want.. you never said other fat people aren’t happy.. you said you weren’t. there is a difference.
your blog is about your journey. About you. if people get offended by your experiences, they need to look closer at themselves and see why.. dontcha think?
I heart you girl! you motivate me. every day!
Very well said. What a great post Jen.
Glad you are recovering so well. I’ve been following your progress because I’m going to have to have that surgery one day and it scares me to death.
That surgery was one of the best decisions I’ve made. You will not regret it.
Woweee – there are a lot of points of view here – most of them valid in some way or an another. For me, personally, I didn’t have a bad life before I lost weight. Problem was I felt so bad about myself (for no external reason particularly, just me feeling bad in myself) that I couldn’t appreciate a lot of what I had. And yes, it did cause other problems. I didn’t have healthy relationships, I constantly doubted my friends and my own self-worth, and a large chunk of my current debt and bad spending habits were due to my lack of self-esteem (some people emotional eat, I also emotional shop). I have lost weight and stayed here for a couple of years and it’s radically changed my outlook on life and myself. In turn, I’ve changed my life. It’s not perfect, but it’s different, and yes, it’s better.
HOWEVER, some of my closest friends are overweight, and they are gorgeous, confident, sexy, popular, successful people, and I assume they are happy too. For them, their life is nothing less than it should be. They are not me though, and I am not them. Everyone is different, and we all have to make the very best of our own lives.
Ok, Current Fat Girl here. I wasn’t going to say anything but the “can fat people have fulfilling lives” argument going on compels me to say something. I will try to keep this polite and succinct.
1. I have an amazingly blessed and fulfilling life – a job I love, a family, and lots of friends and fun in my life.
2. I still want to lose weight.
3. BECAUSE I will be able to do MORE of the things that I love without feeling of holding myself back by my weight.
Everyone’s experience is exactly their own – I think it is being purposefully antagonistic to lump all fat people into the “unfulfilled” or “lazy” or “in denial” bumps. There are all sorts of reasons people gain weight, and all sorts of reasons why they lose it. Whatever motivates you – be it vanity, your family or the cute boy down the street – if it motivates you to change that is all that is important.
Vanity is absolutely one of the reasons why I want to lose weight. Who doesn’t want to better their appearance igf given the chance? Whether it’s losinng weight, changing your pant style to fit you better, changing your hairstyle to frame your face, getting different glasses… I think it’s natural to want to change your apperance for the better.
As for the emailer…I don’t think that FPFGs resent the thin people. I think they feel badly about themselves, whether they realize it or not, and it’s easier to look at external things than to look inside and see what is at the core of why they feel that way. I know that it’s much easier for me to look at someone else and critique them rather than critique myself. And I don’t think that this will change by losing weight. The idea that less weight will make my internal issues better is false.
Jen, i love love and love your open and honest approach to all things weight loss. We’ve emailed back and forth a few times (probably a year or so ago) and I have commented in the past, but this is my first comment in awhile. I have so much I want to talk with you about, but I can’t help but think of how busy you are!
I digress. You cover all of your basises and really that’s all you can do. You can’t please everybody. Do we want to look good?, of course! I can’t imagine ever asking anyone that question, and their response be “No”.
right now my main motiviation is to look good in my wedding dress. Like yourself, I’ll be a bride soon (in October) and I’ll have hundreds of pictures taken of me. so yes, of course, i want to look good.
I think in response to your reader, who knows what she exactly expected you to write her back? Sometimes people need to put themselves in other peoples shoes. You write a lot about being in the shoes of a fat person…because you have been that person. You write about your own expierence, nobody elses. so this person who reads (or doesn’t read) your blog, should realize they are reading your point of view, your feelings. You can’t control how someone interupts your writing. and like you’ve said before, you write for yourself, you blog for yourself.
Cheers to you!!!!
I read the blog post where the CFG posted the letter in it entirety and also her thoughts behind it which made it a little more clearer what her intentions were… But then I read a more recent post where she was arguing with what another weight loss blogger had tweeted and so I see a pattern. Why put other bloggers on blast? She should just work on coming up with more original content for her own blog.
I think that people play semantics too much. They harp on a word or wording and then interpret 600 words based on that. I see it all the time in blogging.
I get your point, and it is valid. People should be healthy no matter the reason. There truly is not a good or bad reason.
You should also have self respect no matter what your weight is. There are 120 pound women with no self confidence and 210 pound women with all the confidence in the world. Being “skinny” does not guarantee happiness. But, the process to get “skinny” shows strength courage, and the determination to solve an issue. Most people look over that fact too much.
And I respect you Jen because you lay it all out there. We were there in high school when you wanted to do this anymore. We were then when you got engaged. We were also there when the most tragic part of your life happened. Yet, through it all, you wrote about it. Most people would not. You still strive to be healthy and want others to do the same. Most would give up.
So if people want to take a word or phrase and define a blog, then so be it. It happens to me all the time.
Oh, and I do not understand the term fat. I am probably weight close to most of your highest weights and I work out and eat healthy all the time. Trust me, I am not fat.
Sorry for the long comment.
*like*
I often struggle with the reason I want to be healthy, so I’m glad you’ve brought all this up Jen.
If I’m completely honest with myself, I want to be healthy to be a better runner, and to feel better both physically and mentally. To live a healthier lifestyle and change myself in that way is hard work, but I want it. That’s a long term goal.
However, in the short term, I’m going to Aruba in May and you can bet that half way through a crappy workout, when all I want to do is stop, I remember that I’m going to be wearing a bathing suit for a week. It pushes me to do more, and honestly, if vanity is what gets my butt off the couch, I’ll take it.
I haven’t read all the above comments so if I repeat something that has already been said, I apologize.
I think you continue to have one of the most thought provoking and honest blogs I’ve come across. Not everyone is going to agree with your ideas and lots of people are going to interpret them based on where they are coming from themselves. I personally haven’t met anyone who is entirely objective about anything that affects them personally. Especially not such a highly emotionally charged topic such as weight.
I have to say that it has been clear you are not putting forward a philosophy that states “get skinny and all your problems will be solved”.
And anyone who says they are trying to lose weight and vanity has nothing to do with is, well, not to put to fine a point on it, lying.
I have been debating posting all day long and trying to search for what I think I might be feeling about this post. I have been overweight all my life and I knew I was unhealthy but I was never really unhappy. Wait…I never really thought about it. I ate to suppress the feelings I felt along the way. I always looked at myself as being able to fit in. I had friends, I was married, I had kids. I had happiness or I thought I did.
March 30th, 2009 is the day that changed my mind. That is the day I stepped into the gym for the first time and made my life about me and stopped living for everyone else. I shedded all the emotionall “fat” (baggage) I had been carrying all those years.
I can say that vanity had nothing to do with me starting to lose weight. At this point it is everything to me. I am a new person with a new life. I have a new husband and new friends. Some of the people in my life didn’t know me at my heaviest and I do not allow them to know that even existed. Am I embarrassed I let myself get that way, yeah I am. I’m not ashamed of me per sey just don’t want anyone to judge me or say wow and wonder if I will become that person again. Life is not perfect for me now but it is so much better than it was on March 29th, 2009.
I agree with you 100 percent. You speak the truth Jen, whether others want to acknowledge it or not. Life is vastly better. Not perfect, but better!
I weighed around 235lbs when I decided to lose weight. Vanity played only a very minor role – it was all the health issues which scared me into committing myself to losing at least 70lbs. However, once I got to the 70lbs mark, vanity took over and compelled me to lose the next 10lbs.
At the moment, I weigh around 150lbs, yet I still want to keep losing weight. Health really has nothing to do with my motivation anymore. It is pure vanity, and I’m fine with admitting it – to others, and to myself.
I didn’t realize that I was unhappy when I was obese…until I was no longer obese. Maybe it’s because I WASN’T unhappy. But I know that, if I were to regain all that weight, it would make me unhappy. Losing the weight has opened up so many doors for me: looking good in clothes, hiking and running with friends, cooking healthy meals for myself. I could not do those things when I weighed 235lbs, and it didn’t bother me that I couldn’t…until I could.
I have been happy as a CFG and happy as a PFG I became unhappy becoming a CFG again. It was as if I was in a real life girl/weightloss version of Flowers for Algernon. When I heard someone say this.
” The greatest loss in life really is not death.. The greatest loss in life is dying inside while still being alive… that is a loss. That is a real loss.”
And I changed my approach I do not want to live a life that supports in any way dying inside while still alive.
Jen, in this post it feels like you’re walking on eggshells a bit, trying not to offend anyone. This is YOUR blog. It is a place for YOUR (non-watered down) thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Don’t feel you have to please everyone. It’s is almost guaranteed you will offend someone and that’s ok!!!
I disagree with your interpretation of vanity vs. vain. Being vain also includes having (not just showing) an excessively high opinion of one’s appearance, abilities, or worth, which is the same as vanity. And you know what?? That’s ok!! If being vain will give you motivation to succeed, that’s great! Just find something that motivates you and cling to it. You are doing the inner work so don’t feel guilty about appreciating your outward accomplishments.
I read an article somewhere– Fox or CNN. It stated that the number one reason of people who were able to successfully lose weight was based on looks. For instance, getting married or for being in a swim suit. The article didn’t state whether it was for people who lost 15 pounds or 150. Whether its being vain or vanity, I think the main message is based on how you look (and I guess appear to others). Whether we agree or disagree with the reasons, it seems to be the way that the most people are motivated. I wish I could say that my motivations were purely for my health, but no, I want to be able to fit in smaller clothes and be able to have a smaller figure to wear a swimsuit and be comfortable. It is what it is.
There’s nothing wrong with taking pride in one’s appearance. When it becomes a problem is when you go on the attack against someone else’s appearance. And it’s entirely possible to take pride in one’s appearance without attacking others. Rare, but possible.
And it sounds to me from what you’re saying that you have become less likely to attack or resent others because of their appearance than you once were since taking more care with your own body. There’s less “look at that skinny b*tch I hate her” going on between your ears, which even if it was hidden, was still an attack.
So it seems to me that taking care of your health and appearance and paying mind to your weight has made you LESS problematically vain, LESS likely to engage in appearance-based attacks, even if they were hidden.
All I know is that I want to be DONE with this chapter of “losing weight and getting healthy” so that I can just live. And not be worrying about what I am eating. Just do it right in the first place. And yes, the root to my NEED and WANT is vanity. Sort of…I mean, I want to wear what everyone else can, shop where everyone else can. BUT I also want to be healthy so that I can live for awhile with my husband and kids (seeing as how I have previous heart condition that could make that hard).
Thanks so much for your posts; they are great to read, and I enjoy them. They help inspire me to continue losing weight.
Fat is a symptom. A symptom that something is a little off…I am not talking about overweight, I am referring to being obese or morbidly obese. I was morbidly obese. Overweight can simply be a result of a period of time in your life where you got caught up in overwork, or a pattern of bad eating. Obesity and morbid obesity is generally a developed pattern of utilizing food as something other than fuel and the occasional indulgence. In my case, food covered for the emotions I didn’t want to feel and life experiences I didn’t want to face. I was living life…I just wasn’t feeling it. In those instances, eating less and moving more gives you a chance to begin to feel. When that occurs, it is life changing. It is life altering and it is 100 percent better than continuing to numb yourself with food. If we were talking about drugs, would people defend it. We need to raise the seriousness of the problem, and we need to stop denying that some people use food like some people use heroin. Have a good day.
Great post! Props to everyone for engaging so passionately about these important issues!
As someone who has worked hard to develop healthy life habits and mostly sustained a 100-lb weight loss for a while (though still working toward more goals), I’ve spent a lot of time pondering and reading about how people losing weight talk about the process. Often times, I think people frame weight loss discussions in terms of escaping negative realities (“I don’t want to be fat!” or “I don’t want to die young!”) and draw connections between weight and mental health without balancing these views with alternate perspectives. We rarely hear someone who says, “I have an awesome life and think I’m totally hot, but my knees hurt and my cholesterol was high, so I made some changes… Things are even better now!” Or maybe its just that these narratives don’t sell? I don’t know…
For me, I feel like the mental transformation that occurred during weight loss could transfer to any hard task (raising kids, getting degrees, pushing through financial setbacks, grieving a loss, etc.). I guess I want to leave open a space to acknowledge the challenges of weight loss without bogging down in the moral dimension (i.e. believing that I’m good if I lose weight and bad if I don’t, that I was emotionally broken when fat and I grew emotionally healthier with weight loss, etc.). I know I have to constantly remind myself that I’m not made or unmade by the pounds on my body. In fact, those pounds come from some pretty amazing physiological factors that no amount of mental/emotional breakthrough will ever completely overcome (I’m pretty sure all my fretting and guilt has had little direct impact on my leptin resistance or ghrelin production
)
Even as I remind myself that my weight may or may not have any bearing on my emotional well-being, I can simultaneously acknowledge that my life changed, drastically in some instances and very much for the better, when I decided to live more healthily. It is possible to feel whole before weight loss and feel even more awesome after we make fitness/healthy eating/weight loss goals.
Thanks again!