Give me a moment.

I’m the type of person…

• who likes to stay busy. As in just keep going and going and going and going.
• who holds it all together because I know there is always someone out there who is struggling more than I.
• who takes on more than I can handle and then fights like hell to accomplish it all because I know I can and to prove to I can.
• who says “I’m going to take the next ten days off” and then fills those days off with new things to do.
• who displaces all types of emotions by rationalizing other peoples actions, being empathetic to what others are going through and never just allowing myself to be mad, frustrated, hurt or sad.
• who, if you met me in person, you’d never know what was really going on because I prefer not to drag myself down by dwelling on what isn’t going right and instead, concentrate on what is going right.

__________________________

all that to say… that sometimes, I just need something to snap me into a moment of weakness and realize that I need a moment. A moment to catch my breath and, as much as I cringe at the thought of it, a moment to step back and just be. Be with Carlos. Be with Iggy. Be alone with my thoughts.

A few days after the tornado last week, I received an email from a reader – her words punched my gut and tore at my heart. It was a beautiful email because it contained true words strung together with genuine care. Although my first thought was that she didn’t know me and what was really going on in my life, her words stuck with me. I couldn’t get them out of my head. And then it dawned on me — she was right.

I know it is my habit to keep myself so busy that I don’t think of my own feelings – ironic because I often talk about reflecting on things, huh?! But sometimes I move so quickly to “reflect” on things that I never really truly allow myself to just feel and instead begin to categorize everything psychologically into buckets of lessons.

I’ve got a few posts written for the next few days (into next week) that will catch ya’ll up on a few things left outstanding — they are pre-written on purpose so that I can take a step back and breath. In the mean time, I will be wrapping up a few other projects but most importantly, I plan on…

• doing a movie night w/ Carlos
• having a girls night with my friend, Laura
• dinner with Cindy and Alexa
• coming home from work and not turning my laptop multiple days
• coffee with my cousin, Kirstin (and maybe bring Iggy?)
• uninstalling twitter from my phone (to be installed maybe next week)
• taking Iggy to the doggy park
• catch up on my unread magazines
• meeting my sisters for breakfast or lunch or dinner
• calling my aunt Gaye and my grandma
• going running with Lindsay, another priorfatgirl

{want to know something fun? All of the above people don’t even know they are on my list of things to do, HA!}

and most importantly, I plan on not blogging about any of the above.

Don’t you worry your pretty little head off — I’m highly confident I’ll come back with more things to talk about. I always do