Was anyone else as impacted by Jen’s weekend post as me?
I promised myself that I would not be derailed by the holidays, and yet, somewhere between Thanksgiving turkeys and Christmas cookies, I lost myself. Or rather, I lost my focus. If I had been as diligent during the month of December as I was during August, September, October and November, I have no doubt I would be bearing down on the 150s right now.
But for reasons I cannot identify, I decided that the 170s were just fine. I decided to camp out there, bouncing back and forth between 175 and 179 like a directionless volleyball. Like Jen, I also forgot…
At my heaviest, riding bikes in La Jolla this summer. I was miserable, and I sometimes had to get off my bike and walk it up the hills.
how it felt to tug on my clothes constantly…
how it felt to panic every time I heard the word “swimming”
how it felt to wear the same 5 outfits to work and church every week
how it felt to be the fattest girl in the room
how it felt to be the girl nobody wanted to slow dance with at weddings
After reading Jen’s post, I thought about the pair of skinny jeans I recently purchased on sale at Target for $6. They are 14s, and right around the middle of December, they started getting a little loose. Then they got a little tighter. They still fit, but they are far more snug than they should be. I stinking LOVE those jeans. I wear them all the time. Several times a week, usually. (We have a casual dress code at work). They were only meant to be a temporary item until I could squeeze into some 12s, but that hasn’t exactly happened.
So I’m punishing myself. For an entire week, I am not allowing myself to wear the skinny jeans. I am going to remind myself what it was like when I couldn’t wear jeans. And certainly not skinny jeans. Every day this week, I’ll have to go through the frustration of trying to find other things to wear. I’m getting back to my “strict and legalistic” diet, and I’m pushing aside other priorities to make time for the gym. I will see you all in two weeks at the PriorFatGirl event, and my promise to you is this: I will be under 175.
Hello 2011. It’s time to kick some butt.
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
You can do it! I am so in the same place except I have been playing around in the 190′s for way way way to long …It’s time to get back in the rhythm of things and kick some butt!!
M
Hi Elle,
I’m new to your blog. I so understand the December setback. Had one myself.
But hey, it’s a new year and I love your resolve … you can do it!
I find the shorter the “fall”, the faster I get back to it, which I did starting yesterday.
Life’s too short to have to struggle through it. Time to live life large (well, small actually LOL)!
All the best for an awesome 2011.
SOS
Don’t beat yourself up too much! There are two ways to look at this: 1) You didn’t lose weight, so you should be punished. OR 2) You survived the holidays with minimal weight gain, and can start the new year off right.
If you want to use your jeans as a reminder as to why you’re trying to lose weight, that’s fine. Using them as a punishment, though, can leave you feeling down about yourself, which makes you less likely to have the motivation to do something FOR yourself.
We all go through the dreaded plateau. Sometimes this lasts for a week or two, other times for months. While we’d all like to be that person who never plateaus, it just isn’t realistic. Just look at this past holiday season as a reminder that you are merely human.
That was what I was thinking. Good words of advice for everyone who is on this journey and had a hiccup on the holidays.
I have also been stuck in the 170s for quite some time…WAY too long. I lost about 50 lbs and then just became ‘stuck’ when I need to still lose at least 20 lbs. I’ve decided I WILL be in the 160s next month. You can do it too!
Elle … I love this post! Thanks for the inspiration! I can’t wait to see what the new year brings for me, but for sure it is going to be fitting back into my skinny jeans! Honestly I can’t wait! – Amanda
You can do it! And you will:) I was at 168 before the holidays and then our fridge was broken for two weeks…so we pretty much had to eat out and I completely ignored the gym the whole time. And though I didn’t go crazy i could of been wayyy closer or even at 150 by now. Disappointing but we will get there! Also I never thought I’d wear skinny jeans. I thought inwas too fat for them then last week at Ross I tried on a pair of kalvin Klein ones and I’m in love it’s amazing how much more fun it is to wear jeans and form fitting clothes when you feel good about yourself.
Don’t beat yourself up. I am starting to think the longer the process of losing weight the more it stays with you… it’s not a get thin quick scheme. If you love the pants wear them. It’s better to have good self esteem than to beat yourself up into working out or eating right. Good luck with the weight loss I think you are doing great!
You had FIVE outfits to wear? I’m envious. I think I have three right now. And I know I’m not fooling anybody by changing up what sweaters and shoes I wear with them! Good luck, Elle – I am so inspired by yours and Jen’s posts.
I SO hear where you’re coming from Elle. Instead of a holiday set back I’ve been having a post-first-half-marathon set back, from October 10th.
I also forgot how awful I feel when I’m soft and squishy. How badly things fit. How little I have to wear. And how very, very mean I am to myself.
BUT I also keep forgetting that I lost almost 30lbs and even if I’ve put 10 back on I’m still 20 ahead of where I was this time last year.
Here’s hoping we can both be more gentle and loving with ourselves in 2011–we deserve it!!
Get out there and work it off! My goal is to get down to 170.
I just stumbled upon your blog, and read all your previous post. It was almost as if everything I have ever thought about in regards to my weight and how it was effecting me, you have written about in your blogs. I thought I was alone in those thoughts, but apparently I’m not. I wish you nothing but the best in you journey to your goal weight. You’ve come a long way. I’m excited to continue reading your postings and watching your journey. You have inspired me.
Show those skinny jeans who’s boss!
P.S. Bonus points since you are a Woman of God
Wow…that list of remembering what it used to feel like it how I feel right now as well. It is amazing how hard we can be on ourselves though and December is a difficult month for everyone! Good luck with your goals
I love reading your blog. You are a delight and inspiration. You have come so far. Congratulations! Keep up the great work!!!