Yesterday, mid-morning, I had an appointment with my dietitian. We talked about how the past 1.5 weeks have gone, with me tracking my hunger (along with my calories.) I shared that, while I was “good” during the weeks, I felt like I lost control during the weekends.
To be vulnerable, open and honest, I struggle a lot with eating when no one is looking. For instance, if Carlos is upstairs, I’ll grab a granola bar downstairs, eat it quick and then go upstairs like nothing happened. Not that he would care if I ate it, but for some reason, I feel like I have to hide it. Obviously, it is quick and easy foods. Granola bars are a sneak-food for me. Here are a couple of facts about food in our house:
- I do most the cooking & food preparation. This means Carlos (the lucky guy) rarely goes into the cupboards. He wouldn’t know what we have vs. don’t have and definitely wouldn’t know how much of something is left.
- I prefer not to leave a lot of grab-n-go type foods. I’ve found that, if I have to make it, I will think more seriously about if I really want it or not.
- There are some foods I buy because Carlos enjoys/likes them. They are foods I enjoy too but do not eat because I’d rather “spend” my calories elsewhere.
So back to the granola bars-they are chocolate dipped. 140 calories of delish. When I make Carlos lunch, I drop one in because he enjoys them. I do not normally eat them because (as I tell myself,) I would rather have a pudding cup for 60 calories for my lunch/dessert instead.
Coincidentally, I tend to reach for one of these high-calorie granola bars when I’m sneaking food. During my conversation with my dietitian yesterday, she pointed out the correlation to the fact that it is something I SNEAK and something I rarely just let myself have. And, in fact, I keep them hidden in the cupboard because that way, Carlos won’t see or pay attention if I actually do sneak one–because I can easily just buy more.
She questioned what would happen if, instead of my low-calorie chocolate snack that I “allow” myself to have, what would happen if I just ate the chocolate covered granola bar. She added that, maybe by taking away the “power” of the granola bar, and by making it just one of the options I have, that I would see a correlation to the fact that I was no longer grabbing it when trying to sneak eat. Because, if it worked, then the granola bar would be visibly eaten and not hidden.
I do not intend on making a “public” announcement every time I eat one. I don’t think it is needed for me to run and tell Carlos. But…I am taking the “secretive” aspect away from them by putting them in a bowl on the counter.
So…my goal is at least 2 times this week, to take a granola bar to work with me–planned. I will plan on eating one so that, when faced with the temptation to sneak something, the granola bar has lost its luster.
Will it work?
Is this silly?
Am I just nuts?
I worked out on Sunday & Monday. Yesterday, I took off. This morning, I woke up and met my friend, Meghan for a run around Lake Calhoun before work. Next week I start my training for my 10 mile October run. I have a plan in place, stay tuned for it! Catch ya’ll later!
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Food should NEVER be eaten in secret..then you’re eating food for everything other than the food. You gotta get real with those emotions as to why you’re enabling yourself to hide behind food and in secret. For me, it has NOTHING to do with the food. It has everything to do with the emotion that I have associated with food. ie: ice cream–relaxing, cookies–childhood. The moment I took the ‘you can’t have that food’ away from food..I started looking at food objectively instead of ridden with emotion, secrecy and guilt.
but I get it..it’s hard to do.
good on your for facing it.
I totally agree, it isn’t about the food, it is about the emotions behind hiding the food. Along with the dietitian, I have started seeing a therapist who works with disordered eating. Hopefully, between the two of them, we can kick this unhealthy thinking once and for all! (Although it sounds easier than it will be!)
yes it will work
no it’s not nuts
it’s good, sensible, positive work
you are a marvel
i’m so proud of you for taking control and doing something for YOU
i am excited to see where this will go lovely! ROCK ON!
heaps of love, as ever
lizzie xoxox
I totally relate to you! I do the very same thing. When the words are speaken out loud it sounds crazy… how can we give food (a granola bar, or whatever else we sneak eat) so much power?! But we do. And I’m sure we are not the only people doing this. Thanks for posting about this – I think it’s an important topic. Keep us posted on your appts – it sounds like you are making some progress
Yikes, this hits home for me. I have always been a sneak eater. Even as a child. I am not sure where I go the notion that I needed to hid what I was eating. No one has ever withheld food from me or complained when I would eat but somewhere along the way I started to eat when no one was looking. I still struggle to this day with this problem, and I live alone! I will sneak eat because it is drilled into me an an unconscious act. I am very pleased you are taking steps to overcome this!
Jen I am with you! I do the very same thing! I find myself eating in my car too, like somehow if I don’t take it home the calories don’t count?!? The funny thing is – I live by myself! No one sees what is in my cupboards, no one sees what goes in my trash or what goes in my mouth…yet, I still “sneak” things. I’m anxious to see how your granola bar plan goes!
Wow. I totally do the same thing, but never really thought about it before.
Jen
http://jenslosinit.blogspot.com/
Quaker also make a delicious chocolate & peanut butter chip granola bar with a less-sugar version, and also fewer calories than the dipped bars. Those are the kind we buy for our girls, and I don’t feel bad about them at all (like I do some other treats). Maybe adding some of those to the bowl on your counter will help?
Also, can’t wait to see the training plan for your 10-mile run! Keep us posted!
At first, I was buying the less-sugar version with the fewer calories but Carlos enjoys the chocolate dipped ones better. Since they were originally intended to be for his lunches, I’ve continued to buy them for him. Maybe after a couple of weeks, I’ll add them back into the bowl, next to the chocolate dipped ones and then allow myself the choice of both?! We’ll see
This hits home for me big time. I ate the least disordered when I was single and lived with a roommate who didn’t care about my eating habits. I would still not eat around her but I didn’t try to sneak higher calorie foods as it was all “okay” to eat. Now that I’m married I find myself sneak eating a lot right after work before my husband gets home. I’m really trying to work on that and making myself measure out portions as some sort of control over the mindless sneak eating.
I like this though, I like it a lot and I am interested to know if it works for you!
WOAH. Huh. This is a crazy-powerful post for me today.
I think I do this. You know, the “secret” food eating, the “secret” food (that my hubby wouldn’t touch anyway and wouldn’t care about) but…I think I give certain foods power like that…
Woah. I need to reflect on this.
You are not nuts! And I do hope this works for you!
Wow. Sneak eating – yep. I’ve found myself burying wrappers in the trash so that my guy won’t know I’ve eaten something. Why? He wouldn’t care. I’ve done it all my life. I remember doing it as a little kid with granola bars or pop tarts on Saturday morning. It wasn’t so that I could eat more food. I would “sneak” the granola bar, hide the wrapper in the trash, and then turn down breakfast or another bar or something else because I was no longer hungry. I wouldn’t have gotten in trouble for eating the bar or the pop tart. On Saturdays my parents liked to sleep in and they didn’t mind if my sis and I woke up early, watched Saturday cartoons, and ate a treat. Like I said, I still do it. Thinking about it, I have heart healthy nut packs in my car so that I can boost my energy on the long ride from work to the gym. When I eat one, I make sure I quickly throw the trash away in some unknown trashcan. I won’t throw it away in the gym (where someone could see) and I would NEVER take the trash home or leave it in the car. Weird…
Thanks for sharing your experiences with the dietician. I feel like I am getting help through you! I have dealt with this same issue. I was very nervous when my daughter started to eat table food. We purchased crackers for her to have since it is a great food to start them on. I never allowed myself to purchase crackers. So whenever I would have them around I would sneak some and end up eating way too much. I don’t know how I did it but I told myself that these items will be around. No way around it. I needed to allow myself to have these items. It worked. When I allowed myself to have them I no longer craved them. I will have some with my daughter now and then but I don’t concentrate on them sitting in the cupboard anymore. Thanks for sharing!!!
Oh, I so hear you on the secretive eating. For me, it started when I was really young. I’m glad that you blogged about it, because it’s a part of disordered eating that isn’t talked about much. I think that your granola bar plan will work. I might even try it myself.
Yes, you’re nuts, but no more nuts than the rest of us. It’s just that you, like me, are a disordered eater. The hardest part for me has been that I’ve destroyed my hunger cues so I no longer recognize when I’m hungry. When I eat, I have to decide if I’m eating it because I’m hungry. If I am, then I by all means eat whatever it is. Hopefully I’ve chosen to make a healthy food choice. If I’m “sneak-eating” then I have to stop, breathe, and get very real with what I’m actually feeling. Do I need a hug? Do I need to write in my journal for a few minutes? Do I need to connect with a friend with a phone call? Am I feeling anxious about something and I just need to acknowledge that instead of eat? Do I need to practice the piano for a few minutes? The list goes on and on. Just like anything, it gets easier the more you do it instead of eating away the emotions.
This hit home for me as well. I live alone and still sneak food. It’s as if I’m ashamed that I’m eating and need to hide it from me. I like the idea of taking away the power of a food. I like how you put the granola bars out in the open. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Yes – I think this should work. You are quite bold to share this with us! Good job!
A story – I have a friend who eats chocolate “everyday”, and she pretty much tells everyone this. Whenever, I go over there, we eat chocolate – a little bit. She shows me her interesting chocolate stash – lots of unique stuff. Chocolate with chili pepper, international chocolate… Anyway – this person is also one of my health role-models. She works out regularly, eats delicious and balanced meals. Anecdotally, she is also quite thin. The point is – savoring a food is just plain fine… as long as it’s not a secret. . Also, she doesn’t “believe in” counting calories… but I’ll leave that alone for now.
Oy. I completely understand the secretive eating mentality. For me, if I eat it in secret it doesn’t count. Not quite sure where the logic is in that but it works for me. I may start including my daily eats on the blog so that nothing is secretive…that might have to fit into my July plan… Being open about ALL the food I eat is a scary concept!!
Great morning for a run outside!!
Great post. A few ago on my journey I made a promise to not lie to my hubby. I found before I would fib. “yes I exercised” or fibbed about what I ate. Was that heathly , no. It is hard to be honest beacsue I know how pround he is of me and I don’t want to disappoint but it feel even heathly not to fib or hide.
Sounds like you have one awesome dietician on your hands. Keep up the great work.
What a great idea! I am the same, but I find sometimes I eat the “treat” so fast that I might have 2 if I have enough time before my husband comes down! It’s a terrible habit. Let me know if it works =)
Eck, I’ve soooo done this. And like you, I don’t know WHY – it’s not like anyone cares what I eat.
You’ll have to let us know how it goes!
My skinny sister cuts off a slice of cake, puts it on a plate, and eats it-sitting at the kitchen table.
I,however, sneak bites of frosting, cake..etc.
She’s skinny and I”m not-so she is doing something right. She never hides food and I totally do.
Ohmigosh, I totally do this. In fact, I was just thinking about it the other day – the foods I “sneak” and the foods I “eat”. I’m going to have to reread through this post carefully and think hard on this…
You arent crazy! I just did this last night. I’m going through a new dieting Journey and have been following Beck for the last 3 weeks, so I’m doing a lot of self reflection. I noticed that if my husband has to be out of town for work, I go awry. I for some reason feel the need to “treat” myself by eating whatever I want, like a huge burger and onion rigns and I’ll drink tons of vodka, because everything tastes better when you are buzzed. The dumb thing is that I dont do this in front of him, like ever. Like your’s he would care less if I ate all that. The thing is I like the secret of it. I know I have major eating issues, which is why I’m trying to work through them. I never used to feel the need to treat myself with food, but somewhere along the line it came about. I am working really hard on not giving in and taking the power away from food also. In the middle of my binge, I was able to leave a quarter of the burger and half the fries, and just throw it away. I was able to tell myself its ok, I got what I craved, Burger Boy is around the corner and its not going anywhere. Today I’m back on track and moving on. But thank you for your honest post. You arent the only one!
Yup. Total sneak eater here, too. That’s why tweeting EVERYTHING I eat has really helped. If I don’t want to write that I had a cookie, I won’t eat it. Of course, it does take a lot to actually post everything I eat. But on the days I don’t, I go freaking crazy!!
I love the little glimpses into your sessions you give–they really do educate all of us!
I definitely sneak food, too. The last thing I “snuck” was a Snickers bar. My co-worker gave it to me (after I’d told him that I didn’t want to eat unheatlhy stuff like that) and it had been sitting on the counter for weeks and I resisted it…until one Sunday afternoon when I devoured it. I ate it quickly so my husband wouldn’t know, but I still “snuck” it. I can completely relate.
Oh my goodness can I EVER relate to your post! For me, sneak eating started in childhood when mom started alternately putting (a normal weight 8 year old) on diets, then rewarding me with candy (every Friday night was treat night). Eventually food gained this huge power and I started sneak eating out of hurt of lack of acceptance of me just as I was, and also out of rebellion.
I have found myself off and on doing this in my present relationship, and am tackling the power food has over me, but sneak eating is a tough one to get a handle on. Thank you so much for your honest post, you are so not alone. As one of your commenters said, this is rarely spoken of, and it’s important to bring it into the light of day.
Yes, I think it will work, if you allow it to.
No, I don’t think you’re silly or nuts.
I’m also a secret eater…munching when no one is around. I’ve learned that when I allow certain foods they don’t have that power over me. There are still things, like brownies, that I don’t handle too well in the house, but there again if I allow just one I’m less likely to overindulge later…in secret.
I’m enjoying watching your journey with your dietician. Thanks for sharing your experience on your blog.
So I’m playing catch up and came across your bracelets post. I loved it so much~ I totally got ahead of myself! I paid for 2 then read that I needed to email you first if out of US…then noticed the comments were closed…oops!! Is it too late for me to get in on the bracelets?
Jen,
I agree that when we tell ourselves that we cannot have something because there is a btter choice we are putting the power to the food we are trying to limit. When we allow ourselves to have that food in portion control it loses the power and we gain control. While you are tracking calories you might add before you write your calories what it is you are feeling. Happy, sad, bored etc…. 75 percent if the times we eat in a day we are not hungry, we are eating to satisfy one of these other needs. If we are able to identify our triggers and change them fifty percent of the time then we have made progress… I have never responded on here before but I do often read it! I hope this was helpful! Keep up your great inspiring work!
Heather
I’m a secret food-eater, so I’m curious to see how this goes for you. I think it’s a great idea. Isn’t it crazy how much power we allow food to have over us?
I can’t even tell you how much I resonate with this post.
I too, am a secret food eater…that if I eat in secret, and no one sees it, then I can’t be given any disapproval. Guilt is still present though, and shame.
Might have to take your suggestions in hand though..make it out in the open and not hidden. Take away the food power. Hmm.
For years, even after gaining weight, even too much weight, I didn’t sneak-eat. I just ate when I ate, whether my roommates were around or when I was with friends. It never crossed my mind what others might think, I didn’t compare my eating that ice-cream with the fact that this friend or roommate was choosing NOT to eat ice-cream.
The first time I started sneak-eating, I was with a boyfriend who constantly commented on how I ate. He was careful about how he ate, and disdainful of how I ate. I started sneaking the “unapproved” foods. My current boyfriend also comments on how I eat, less disdainful, but teasingly critical.
When I want something not healthy, I sneak-eat when he’s out, eat before I come home, discard the wrapper-evidence in outside trash bins… I think it’s so true that feeling forbidden from eating things gives them MORE power, and I wish I could teach the current bf that it doesn’t help me to have the commentary. And I’m really mad that I let that other bf get in my head like that.
OMG…I seriously know where you are coming from and I am starting to deal with my eating issues head on at this moment in my life. I was suggested a few books to read, “Breaking Free from Complusive Eating” and “Why Weight? A guide to end complusive eating” by Geneen Roth and “Intutive Eating, A Revolutary program that works” by Evelyn Tribole. I am just starting to read the first book.
Anyway, I so sneak food. For example after a night of drinking I will either start a fight on purpose with my husband or ask him to leave me alone in the kitchen. I will eat those high calorie granola bars or food that I have deemed as “bad”. (which of course causes binges when you label foods as “bad” or “good”) I have also made plenty of food subsitutes like if I really want a cookie but instead I will eat sugar free pudding. Does it satsify a cookie craving? Hell no!!
Huh. Interesting. I never thought of it that way. Your dietitian may be on to something there. I like it. I may try it.
Thanks for sharing. The urge to secretly chow down is my cross to bear, so I hear you loud and clear.
Whoa, that hit home for me. I eat secretly, and I know it’s wrong when I do it, but I can’t help myself. YET. I’m working on it. I’m admitting it (right here, right now!) so that has to be a good starting point.
I think putting them on the calendar is awesome. And planning to eat one or two a week is even more awesome. Way to make a change!
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