Archives for June 2010

The power of a granola bar.

Yesterday, mid-morning, I had an appointment with my dietitian. We talked about how the past 1.5 weeks have gone, with me tracking my hunger (along with my calories.) I shared that, while I was “good” during the weeks, I felt like I lost control during the weekends.

To be vulnerable, open and honest, I struggle a lot with eating when no one is looking. For instance, if Carlos is upstairs, I’ll grab a granola bar downstairs, eat it quick and then go upstairs like nothing happened. Not that he would care if I ate it, but for some reason, I feel like I have to hide it. Obviously, it is quick and easy foods. Granola bars are a sneak-food for me.  Here are a couple of facts about food in our house:

  • I do most the cooking & food preparation. This means Carlos (the lucky guy) rarely goes into the cupboards. He wouldn’t know what we have vs. don’t have and definitely wouldn’t know how much of something is left.
  • I prefer not to leave a lot of  grab-n-go type foods. I’ve found that, if I have to make it, I will think  more seriously about if I really want it or not.
  • There are some foods I buy because Carlos enjoys/likes them. They are foods I enjoy too but do not eat because I’d rather “spend” my calories elsewhere.

So back to the granola bars-they are chocolate dipped. 140 calories of delish. When I make Carlos lunch, I drop one in because he enjoys them. I do not normally eat them because (as I tell myself,) I would rather have a pudding cup for 60 calories for my lunch/dessert instead.

Coincidentally, I tend to reach for one of these high-calorie granola bars when I’m sneaking food. During my conversation with my dietitian yesterday, she pointed out the correlation to the fact that it is something I SNEAK and something I rarely just let myself have. And, in fact, I keep them hidden in the cupboard because that way, Carlos won’t see or pay attention if I actually do sneak one–because I can easily just buy more.

She questioned what would happen if, instead of my low-calorie chocolate snack that I “allow” myself to have, what would happen if I just ate the chocolate covered granola bar. She added that, maybe by taking away the “power” of the granola bar, and by making it just one of the options I have, that I would see a correlation to the fact that I was no longer grabbing it when trying to sneak eat. Because, if it worked, then the granola bar would be visibly eaten and not hidden.

I do not intend on making a “public” announcement every time I eat one. I don’t think it is needed for me to run and tell Carlos. But…I am taking the “secretive” aspect away from them by putting them in a bowl on the counter.

So…my goal is at least 2 times this week, to take a granola bar to work with me–planned. I will plan on eating one so that, when faced with the temptation to sneak something, the granola bar has lost its luster.

Will it work?

Is this silly?

Am I just nuts?

I worked out on Sunday & Monday. Yesterday, I took off. This morning, I woke up and met my friend, Meghan for a run around Lake Calhoun before work. Next week I start my training for my 10 mile October run. I have a plan in place, stay tuned for it! Catch ya’ll later!

Mmm, muffin

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” ~ Anais Nin

Let’s talk about muffins.  Not this kind though,

Mmmm tasty muffin!

I was more thinking about this kind…

Eeee... not so tasty muffin!

That right, ladies and gents… let’s talk about muffin tops!

Today, I am sportin’ a mini-muffin.  I’m not proud of this.  But, it is what it is.  Why am I sporting a mini-muffin, you ask…?  Well, because I wanted to wear these capris.. and yeah, they’re a little tight.  BUT, they were super-oh-my-God-I-can’t-breath-tight last summer, so dammit, I’m pretty proud to wear these puppies today!

Sure, I’m not in love with the muffin, but I just keep reminding myself that hey, at least they fit (sorta, haha!) and next time I wear them, the muffin will be even mini-er!  🙂  It’s all about progress, people!

I look forward to things like this.  Especially since my weight hasn’t moved much, I like to see that at least my body is changing, even if it is slowly.  I’m not racing anyone.  If it takes me twice as long as it took you to lose the weight, I’m okay with that.  Because you and I are different people.

This is something I have to constantly remind myself.  Being the competitive person that I am, I often get discouraged when I see others losing weight way more rapidly than me.  I just have to remind myself that I’m in a race with no one.  I’ll get there when I get there.

So, until I get there (because, I will get there) I’ll be celebrating the little things.  Like, mini-muffins, instead of huge, full-blown, giant muffins.  😉

Mini-Muffin!

I hope you enjoy your day!  As always, thanks for reading!  🙂

Keep Breathing

I wrote this post awhile ago but wasn’t ready to share it. I’m ready today…

In those dark moments
when I can’t do anything else.
All I can do is keep breathing.

And in those moments,
when nothing makes sense.
All I can do is keep breathing.

Those gut wrenching moments,
when there isn’t enough air.
All I can do is keep breathing.

Each precious moment,
that fills my earthly time
All I know is I’m breathing.

A couple of days after my mom passed away, an amazing friend made me a mixed CD. Some songs were melancholy. Others were up beat and made my heart remember, if only a brief moment, what it felt like to be positive. Deep within the CD was a song I had never heard of before, called Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson.


I played that song over and over again for hours. I would listen to it the entire way to work and again the entire way home. I cried. It made me cry. And yet, it reminded me to keep breathing. Just keep breathing. For as long as I keep breathing, I will be okay.

I don’t cry as much as I did then…as much as I want to, God knows no one can cry that much forever. But I still cry. And it feels good-to just cry. Sometimes, when I get a heavy heart, I turn this song on to help me cry. Because sometimes, crying just makes it better.

My favorite part is from 2:20-3:10.

This post, although written from sadness is not meant to make ya’ll sad. Instead, I hope it reminds you that as long as you keep breathing, you are okay. And, if you need to, just cry. Because sometimes, crying makes it better.

My computer is sick

“Re-examine all you have been told.  Dismiss what insults your Soul” ~ Walt Whitman

Happy(?) Monday!  I hope you all have a lovely weekend.  Mine was alright.  They always go by too quickly, which I am not a fan of.

Friday

On my way home from work, it looked like this:

Scary sky...

It sure did not look friendly!  Luckily, I got home before it really turned nasty.  I walked in the door and immediately let Dex out to do his business… as soon as we walked inside, it started down pouring.  It was like sheets of water coming from the sky.  Our backyard had water backed up, apparently a few major freeways were flooded – pretty crazy!

After Adam got home, we went to dinner and then laid low for the rest of the night.

Saturday

Adam and I started the day out right… at the gym.  We both had personal training.  I had my training first.  Legs day.  Ick.  Haha  After I was done training, it was Adam’s turn.  While he trained, I hopped on the elliptical and did about 30 minutes.  Nothing amazing, but always good to get a little cardio in there too.  🙂

Afterwards, we went out and ran some errands.  Needed a wedding gift, ran to Marshall’s and I may or may not have spent too much on summer clothes… opps!  But check this out, our new couch!

New couch!

Okay, okay… so it’s not entirely new.  We found a slip cover (that actually fits!) on clearance at Bed Bath & Beyond.  Gosh, it looks sooooo much better than before.  It’s one of those stretchy ones, so it doesn’t wrinkle up, like our last one (that I HATED!) did.  I love it.  It really does look like a new couch.  And for $60, can’t complain!  I wish I would have taken a “before” picture.  It’s ugly, trust me.  I got it while I was in college, from craigslist, for $25.  It’s really not cute… but sooo comfy.  So, thank you, slip cover, for giving me a new couch!

Saturday evening, we attended our friends, Andy and Linda’s wedding.  Actually, just the reception.  They had a small, private ceremony earlier in the day on a boat.  But we had fun… unfortunately, no pictures…  boo.

Sunday

We spent literally like, 2 hours at Best Buy.  Not my idea of fun!  Especially because we were in there to have my laptop looked at.  It’s sick.  The lady from the Geek Squad thinks it might have a virus.  Oh joy.  Unfortunately, my little baby will be “out sick” for about 3 weeks, so please, bare with me if my posts over the next few weeks are a little sporadic.  I apologize in advance.

Well, there’s my weekend, in a [BIG] nutshell!  😉  I hope yours was fabulous and I hope you have an awesome week.  I’ll see ya, when I see ya!  😉

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