The past couple of days, I have been in meetings. All day meetings. With VP’s. And directors. And high-up people at my company.
And because of these all day meetings, I haven’t been able to plan my meals. The meetings start at 7:30am with breakfast, have a 12:00pm working lunch, mid-day snack and end with working dinner.
Not really conducive to me packing my snacks and stuff like I normally do. And I gotta admit, it has truly thrown my mental clarity for a loop. I feel messed up. I feel off kilter.
And you wanna know what I’ve noticed? When it comes to food times (ie: breakfast, lunch, snack & dinner), I find myself comparing my plate to everyone else. Anyone gotta psych degree ’round here?
I’ve done it a lot over the past couple of days but specifically last night, I found myself at dinner comparing my plate to everyone else’s (we all got the same thing, Sea Bass.) I was trying so hard to pay attention to the conversations because it was great networking opportunities but I frequently found myself thinking:
- “Oh, she has eaten all her mashed potato’s so I can finish my mashed potato’s.”
- “Oh, she only left about 3 bites left on her plate, I can eat a couple more bites out off my plate.”
- “Well, she ate all of her dessert so I can eat mine too.”
I do have some thoughts on my actions:
- Could it be that I have been feeling inadequate compared to these other women & feel the need to compare myself to them?
- But if its me feeling inadequate to them, why would I compare of all things, what is on our plates?
- Is this something to be concerned about or just something that is only relevant because of the 2-day meeting I had with VP’s & Directors?
- Could this be a symptom of the fact that I haven’t figured out how to live in a world outside of my “controlled environment?”
Soooooo………..anyone gotta psyche degree? Anyone wanna take a stab at giving me some feedback on your thoughts?
P.S. I’m behind on blog reading because of the meetings so sorry about my lack of commenting. I will catch up the next couple of days!