I loved all of your comments yesterday. Have I told you lately, how much I love you (me, singing along to Rod Stewart)
My friend from She Woke Up Fat left a comment that summed up everything I was tried to say.
My old habit was to eat the
chocolate and say “I deserve it”.My new habit is to dump in
the trash and say “I deserve it”.
And that my friend, is what we need to tell ourselves. But, as you can see from the past couple of posts, I’ve been struggling. A lot.
This past week, I have struggled SO MUCH with my eating. I try to be subjective and reflect a lot throughout the whole process, trying to pay attention to my feelings & sensitive to the thoughts in my head (because lets face it, most of our actions stem from thoughts in our head.)
Awhile back, I had a co-worker who had gone on vacation…but she had this drawer of delish chocolates and candies. So the minute she left, I locked up the drawer and brought the key over to a friend. When my friend questioned me, I explained that I knew I probably would eat the chocolate and so locking it up would prevent me from eating it. Her response?
Jen, you shouldn’t be locking up the food.
You should be controlling yourself.
Have some self-control.
That has stuck with me for years. I do have control. I lost 100lbs. Who loses 100lbs without control. Right? uh…….right?
I’ve been thinking lately about why I have struggled so much this past week with my eating. And the superficial answer is because, more then ever, there is temptation at every corner. The candy dish at the office has gone un-supervised (she went on vacation). Carlos got some yummy new chips at the house. There is food everywhere. And I can’t control it.
And then I had a thought this morning…maybe I’ve been controlling the wrong thing. You see, for two+ years, I have been controlling (or attempting to) control my environment. No junk food in the house, bringing my food with me every day, writing everything down, only going certain places, etc.
Maybe instead, I should be controlling my response to the environment. I’ve gotten to a point in my journey where I cannot live out of a frozen meal anymore. I need to continue to figure out the psychological side of my journey!
So now, even more then ever…I am realizing it is not about how I control my environment, but it is about my response to the environment. How? I dunno. I have no idea – but I’m gonna find out!
(And…I think this Beck Diet book as sometime to do with it. Stay tuned tomorrow for our first reading assignment! Don’t worry if you haven’t gotten it yet – we still have a couple of weeks before I’ll talk about it.)
Linkety Links
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