There are no words I can use to convey our appreciation for everyone's support & amazing words. The fact that so many are praying for us and keeping is your thoughts is beyond what we could have ever asked for. Let me say, it's working - we are making it though this one minute at a time.
This past weekend has felt like four months worth of time, emotion and food. As a priorfatgirl, I am being put to the test. Saturday and Sunday I ate. I ate to numb the pain. Donuts. Cookies. Macaroni & Cheese. Banana's. Sandwiches. Chips. Oh, and oreo's. Carlos helped me stop at the grocery store to buy oreo's. I ate a few oreo's in honor of my mom. Anything that I would walk past. Grazing. Nibbling. Inhaling. Whatever.
I do not feel guilt. Grief, it does a funny thing to our stomach. For some, grief fills their stomach and they do not feel the need to eat. For others, grief leaves a void in the stomach a pain so much like that of hunger. For me, quite obviously, it is the latter. So many things I could share with you about what has happened yet would take millions of words to describe. So many emotions are in my head but I feel like a zombie. One minute I am fine and the next minute I am sobbing uncontrollably. 
The service is tomorrow and will be followed by a walk. A walk in honor of my mom because she was not able to finish hers. The walk will end with a prayer and ice cream with what else but oreo's.
For those of you who are local, you are more then welcome to join us for this walk. My mom would love to meet all of you. (Walk info is in the two news links below)
From the bottom of my heart, from the bottom of my families heart, thank you all for continuing to keep us in your prayers. I leave you with a few links
I know I have missed other blog post's regarding my mom. If you are the author and are willing to share, please send me the link. I know you understand, I am so behind on my blog reading and hope everyone is doing well.
Posts
94 comments:
Jen, I'm just catching up and realizing what's happened and I wanted to say that I am so so so sorry for what you are going through. At the same time, I have to acknowledge that you are an amazing woman who has touched so many lives in your own way. The world works in such uncomprehensible ways sometimes... I know that your mother's life will be carried in your memories. You are in my thoughts and I wish you all the strength and courage I can muster. Remember, in our hearts, loved ones are eternal.
Jen I worte a small post on Saturday after reading the news.
**Hugs**
I wrote a small post on my blog, I have been breaking my heart and crying for you all weekend, because you are alway there for everyone else.
She will always be with you and your loved ones. still cheering you on like she always does.
All our love
Helen David & Family x
Please know that tomorrow while you and your family take a walk in honor of your mom, that I am there in spirit.
You and your family remain in my daily thoughts and prayers.
Sending tons of hugs your way, Jen.
Jen, I am still praying for you and your family, and will everytime I think of you in the days to come. It is truly the only way for you to get by this tragedy.
I read one of those articles, and I just wanted to point out how truly wonderful it is that despite this tragedy your father and your family are able to share the love and forgiveness of Christ with others. I never knew your mom, but I'm pretty sure she'd be so proud of all of you.
Much love Jen!
I'll be walking with you in spirit Jen. Can't stop thinking about you.
I will be thinking and praying for your family tomorrow. Like many others I will be with you, in spirit, as you take the walk in honor of your mom.
Many prayers and much love to you all.
Your mom leaves behind an amazing legacy, and I'm so happy that you and your family have the faith in God to fall back on through this hard time. I'll be keeping you in my prayers.
I don't believe there is anything I can say that could help you right now. When I read your post I cried and cried. Even though I never met you in person, I feel as though I know you through your blogs and our few emails. After every post you made, I would read your mom's comment. It was something I couldn't wait to read. I got to see just how proud she was of you and I am sure you know that. I am so sorry that you are going through this. There are so many of us that would change this for you if we could. I will be praying for you and your family. My heart feels so heavy for you.
Jen-
I just left you a comment on your other post. I so wish I lived near you guys. I would love to take that walk in honor of your mom, in honor of my mom...my gosh...that is beautiful. I know there truly are no words to help with the pain, but Jen, I know your mom is with you now, smiling down on how wonderful you are. Grief is like an ocean--sometimes you just dip your toes in it--sometimes it pulls you down under, where you feel like you can't breathe. It's tricky, because you just never know how you'll feel at any given time. Just go with the flow, do what feels right to you & no one else. You will get through this. Love & hugs.
Jen, I wrote a small post on my blog. I can't stop thinking about your family these days. You all are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. Tomorrow night, like every night, I will take a walk after dinner. When I leave for my walk tomorrow night, Nate and I will say a prayer for your mom.
Jen, My heart breaks for you. Please know that we have you in our thoughts and prayers. Sending you hugs.
Thought about you all weekend.
Wish I lived close enough to participate, but will be there in spirit.
I'm keeping you in my prayers.
Lynn
{{hugs}} to you and your family. We are all here for you.
Jen, my love and prayers to you and your family. I wish I was closer to be able to walk with your family. What an awesome tribute.
I posted a brief tribute to your mom in my blog today:
http://icanbearunner.blogspot.com/2009/08/without-words-heavy-hearts-please-read.html
(To all bloggers, please read my post and sign the card for Jen's family.)
Jen, I'm so sorry. I wish I had words, but from exerpience, words just feel empty some times. Please know you & yours are in my prayers and thoughts. Since I'm all the way in Az, I'll be walking with you all in spirit.
Jen - I too wrote an update on Saturday for people who hadn't heard.
I'm so sorry again. The walk is a lovely symbol. My prayers are with you and your family.
Oh my goodness... I'm one of the ones just catching up after the weekend and I am so incredibly sorry to hear about what happened. I think the idea of a walk after the service is absolutely beautiful, and a great way to remember her.
I so wish I could make it for the walk. I'll be there in spirit..thinking of you and your family. I hope at the end of the walk, you'll feel at peace and feel the closure you need to process this tragedy.
I think the walk is a wonderful idea. The act of forgiveness that your family has extended is something that will touch many lives.
You have been on my mind all weekend. I can't even imagine what you're going through. All your friends in blogland are here for you!
Love and hugs from SC!
I was greatly saddened to read of your mother's death. She was far too young to die and such a loss will take a very long time to come to grips with. My sincerest condolences to you and your family at this most difficult of times.
Barb
I wish you and your family strength for tomorrow and I think the walk is a beautiful way to honor your mother.
I know exactly what you mean by eating to push away the pain. The reason I have overweight is that I ate and ate when my dead died 9 years ago.
I wil be thinking of you tomorrow.
Jen, I posted about your family's tragedy on Saturday. I think it's a lovely way to commemorate your mother by finishing her walk, and I will be with you in spirit tomorrow night.
If I had Oreo's in the house, I'd eat one in your mom's honor...and then throw the bag on top of my kitchen cabinet!
Love to you, sweet girl.
Jen,
I can't even think of really what to say. I just sincerely hope that you are your family are doing okay. I'm here for you if you need to vent/need some encouragement/whatever. (hopesjourneytohealthy@gmail.com)
Remember, I'm praying for strength for you and your family. I did write a small post on my blog about it. I hope you know you aren't alone. Please, if there is anything I can do, let me know. I wish I could be there for the walk.
((Hugs))
Hope
I really wish I could fly to Minnesota and walk with you. I will be thinking of you and your family and know that your mom would really appreciate what you are doing for her. Try to stay strong.
<3
Missy
Stay strong! You and your family are in my prayers!
Hi Jen, I want to send my deepest condolences to you and your family. From my family to yours, we'll be praying for you and keeping you in our thoughts.
Wow Jen - I am continually amazed by your strength. I'm sorry I don't have anything great to say. I have literally been in shock by the news, even though I don't know you "in real life".
Best wishes to you and your family through this recovery process... The news story about forgivness is truly a testimony.
My family (and extended family) have been thinking about you and yours all weekend long. Our thoughts are with you all tomorrow as you pay tribute to your Mom.
I would not worry about what you are eating right now. Like you said, your stomach has a void...as does your heart. I too would be feeding it with what my mother loved.
Sending you peace and comfort.
Although i don't live nearby i will be out on a walk tomorrow and thinking about your mom!
I will take a walk tomorrow evening with your family in my heart, on my mind, and in my prayers. I wish I could do more to ease your heartache.
I pledge to walk tomorrow in honor of your mother. Know that you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
Love from New York,
Ashley
So touched with the idea of a walk after the service...what a beautiful way to honor your mom. You've been in my thoughts all weekend, take all the time you need to begin the healing process from this tragic loss. We will all be right here waiting for you...love from Southampton, NY
Jen, been thinking of you and praying for you. Reading the news reports, I realized that your mom was the same age as ME! Far, far too young to leave this earth. I know your family will miss her terribly. Tomorrow I will be praying for you all as I take my walk and I'm also going to have some Oreos in your mom's honor.
I hope the many comments people leave provide a small amount of comfort to you. I know they all meant the world to me when my mom passed in April!
Hugs and prayers.
Path to Health
just do what it takes to keep going right now. staying sane in an insane situation is your only goal... hang in there.
I am a new follower. I am praying for your family. I, too struggle with weight and would eat my way through the pantry if I were in your shoes.
Your Mom is finishing her walk in a glorious way...with her Heavenly Father! She now walks the streets of gold hand in hand with our Lord.
I think of my sister (who died at 17) roaming around heaven checking out all the special places GOD has prepared for us....this somehow gives me comfort.
Blessings and prayers, andrea
Jen-You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish I could be there to walk with you guys.
My 3-Day is this weekend...and every mile is for you, your mom and your family. Be strong and never lose your beautiful spirit!
Jen, I so wish I could be at that walk! I think that is a lovely way to honor your mom, and I know she would love it. Your mom was so special. I am thinking of you as you grieve; I agree with Carlos that you have to just get through this in whatever way you can.
Jen, my prayers are with you today and in the future... I may not be local, but I will be taking a walk tonight in your mom's memory.
I also wrote a small thing on my blog about you and your family. I have been saddened all weekend over this, and I have never even met you. If Brookln was a little closer to Upstate NY, I would even drive to be there for the service and the walk. Please know that I am praying, and will continue to pray for your family.
I wrote a post on Saturday to direct people to your blog for support, as well.
My sweet bloggie friend, the news devastated me. I know we don't really know each other, but I'm sure I speak for more than just myself when I say your candid, positive posts have been such a blessing in my life. Hearing of your tragedy broke my heart. I immediately called my own mother and told her all about you and your wonderful mother that we were all so lucky to get to know through the blog world.
Thank you for posting and letting us all know how you're doing in the midst of all this.
If I had an oreo, I'd eat it on her behalf, as well. I completely understand that there are some things in life that require coping strategies, even if those are the very same strategies we would normally avoid. Do what you must to get through these days and when you come out on the other side, do what would make her proud... find a way to walk that healthy journey again (and we'll be here waiting to help you). xoxo
I'm glad to hear from you. And that you are doing as well as possible.
I think a walk in honor of your Mom is such a wonderful idea. Enjoy the day tomorrow. Celebrate in love Her life and your memories.
What beautiful tributes those articles and blogs are! I read so many blogs this weekend that honored you and your mom. I will be thinking of you tomorrow as you say your good byes to your mom. My prayers are with you, seek the Lord for your peace as He guides you thru this.
Blessings
I'll even have an Oreo in honor of your Mom! It's worth the extra insulin!
SENDING HUGE HUGS YOUR WAY!!!
Hi Jen,
My note today is about what happened to your family. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.
Love to you.
-jafg
I wish I lived nearby so I could be a part of the walk. You're an inspiration for so many of us. Remember how many people have you in their thoughts.
I also wrote a small post on Saturday. I'll go on a walk for your mom tomorrow.
Wishing you strength for tomorrow, as well as the days to come.
Thanks for posting the links... you are an amazing family.
Much love...
please know how much you and your blog mean to all of us. hopefully these thoughts from your readers will offer some comfort to you during such a difficult time.
Your family is amazing. I am not sure I could forgive the way you all have, your truely good people. I wish I could join you on your Mom's walk, I think it is beautiful, and I know she will be there walking with you. Keep remembering how proud your Mom was of you . You have a lot of special gifts to give this world, she wouldn't want you to forget that.
Stay strong,be good to yourself,and do whatever you have to do to get through this.Your family is in my thoughts and prayers, and I will be thinking about you tomorrow night at 8pm.
Your Friend,
Susan
I was so glad to "hear" your voice today. You are doing the right thing by journaling about your feelings, thoughts, emotions and struggles. I can't imagine your pain and we are still praying for your here in Colorado!
WOW!!! My prayer and thoughts continues to go out to you and your family. I hope the funeral goes well for you guys. Enjoy the walk. I will eat an oreo in honor of your mom
Jen- Just catching up form the weekend and I am in total shock. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Just to let you know, tommorrow night at 8pm, I am going to eat some oreo's for your MOM. :)
Jen ~
I'm not in Minnesota so I can't participate in the walk, but I will definitely have you and your family in my thoughts all day tomorrow and especially at 8pm. Your mom would have LOVED this idea. Just take everything one thing at a time. Love the ones around you! Take care of yourself and enjoy the oreo's -- whether they are on the top of the cupboard or right in front of you!
That sounds like an amazing tribute to your mom. I may not have every met you, but I thought about you this weekend and pray for comfort for you and your family.
I am still thinking about you and praying for you and your family!
Jen, I really appreciate your honesty in the face such a horrific event. And I sure understand the desire to fill that emptiness with something. The walk is such a lovely idea. I will be there in spirit.
I will dedicate my walk tomorrow to your mom. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
i will be there walking in spirit. {because if i was local, i'd totally for real life be there}
life sucks sometimes. that is the only thing i can say. there are some things i will never, ever understand. and this, this is one of them.
hugs and kisses to your family.
i know god is taking care of your mom.
Hi Jen, I wrote a post called on dying. I hope you are doing okay, and that this walk helps and the oreos help ;). God bless you and your family.
Chris
I can only send hugs & strength your way. I read Annabel's blog to read this. I honored your mom on my Sunday post, http://truth2beingfit.com/2009/08/01/feel-good.aspx.
I have lost both my parents to I feel for you!!!!
Jen, again, I am so so so sorry this happened.
As a local (and your friend on twitter [@nicycle]) I hope to be able to join the walk tomorrow night in support of your family.
I came across your blog today via SHE-Fit and am so sorry to hear of your loss. I have read your story and how you did it and seen your amazing pictures and - more importantly - have read your posts and witnessed your amazing attitude. Stay positive and motivated overall and keep doing what you need to do in the meantime. I am about 20 pounds overweight and have recently realized I've been making excuses for myself. Thanks for reminding me of what's important.
At the grocery store, I usually let the kids pick the cookies, but today, I picked the Oreos for you and your mom.
I think the walk is such a wonderful thing for you and your family and friends to do in honor of your mom. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.
Jen, my evening run tonight will be in honor of your mother since I'm in AZ.
Jen...I have been thinking about you all weekend. Again..I'm so sorry. I've recently started reading your blog...I found you through the stair contest with Tony.
I wrote a post about you tonight on my new blog, hope you don't mind. When you have time and want to read, it's here: http://barblosing.blogspot.com/
This is obviously going to be a very difficult time for you, but you are surrounded by so many people that love you. Do what you need to do to cope right now. Just don't forget to take care of yourself! (HUGS)
Oreos are the perfect tribute, especially when they aren't hidden on top of the cabinet. I will be thinking of you all day tomorrow. I am so impressed by your strength. Love you.
Hang in there. I just started reading. Your story is inspiring. Give yourself space to let the emotions wash over you. Remember how proud of you your mom was..and honestly still is. I hope that you find peace, happiness, and grace in everything.
What a beautiful tribute! Again, I'm still praying for you.
Dear Jen
With every step you take tomorrow, your Mum will be with you :)
I wish I could be there too.....
Much love,
Tusc
London, UK
The walk sounds like a beautiful tribute to your mom. I am keeping you and your family in my prayers.
<3
I wrote a post to your mom in my blog.
I wish there was something I could say or do in honor of your memories with your mother. I wish I could be there for the walk. I wish I could help you in any way or shape.
*hugs* from Milwaukee.
I am pledging to walk in honour of your mom and your family tomorrow.
My kids will be with me as well.
My thoughts are with you.
I am going to urge my blog readers (which are not that many) to do the same walk.
Take care!
I wish I could be there to walk. I am sending you my love and thoughts from here in Tokyo. <3
I wish I lived closer to you and could come, but I'll be thinking about you and your family. I wrote a post on my blog after reading your own post-big hugs.
I am sorry to hear your loss, it is very difficult to lose a parent. My thoughts are with you and your family at this time.
I do not know you but I saw this posted on MizFit's link. I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through. I will pray you can find peace in this terrible time.
Finishing her walk is a beautiful thing to do. I'll be with you in spirit and my walk tomorrow is dedicated to your family and your mom.
Jen,
What a wonderful way to honor your mom.
You and your family have been in my thoughts all weekend. I wish I were able to walk with you in the flesh but live far from you,so I will be walking with you in spirit.
((Hugs))
Hi Jen,
My heart reaches out to you. When I lost my mom last year I felt the world dim. It has not been an easy road but we have found laughter again and have taken solace in our stories, family and prayer. We have included you and your family in our prayers. I wish I could be at the memorial but we are still in NY. Virtual HUGS your way.
Julie
Julie Muraski
Hi Jen,
I'm happy to hear that you and your family are getting through this. One minute at a time is all that you guys can do right now.
I don't live near you (I'm all the way in Hawaii), but I will definitely do a walk around my neighborhood in your mom's memory tomorrow.
I'm still praying for your family. You guys will get through this!
Lianne
i p[osted on my blog.....
Jen,
I think you and your family are amazing. After reading the links about your mum I am sat here thanking God for people like your mum but especailly now your dad. His statement about your mum and his forgiveness for the driver is so wonderful.
I love the idea of the walk for your mum. so this evening at 8 pm her in the UK I will be walking in memory of your mum and praying for you and your family.
Hold each other close in the coming days.
God Bless You All
Sheilagh
Hello amazing one. Have just emailed you but wanted to post here too - I think your plan for the memorial for your mum is an amazing one. I bet she'd have adored the idea. Jen you're amazing. Your honesty and eloquence at such a time as this are astounding and inspirational.
Be real, BFF, be as you are being- strong when you need, grieving when you need, shocked, stunned, cared for when you need to be. We all love you so much and are with you every step of the way.
I will be thinking of you all during the memorial - if I could be there you know I so would be.
All my love
Liz xxx
No words for you except the fact that you are in my entire family's prayers and I WISH I COULD JOIN YOU.
Your loss has touched me for so many reasons (only 1 being Im 8 years younger than your mom. her life was farfarfar to short) the BIGGEST BEING she was the mother I pray I can be.
I said that to my husband REPEATEDLY when I was doing guest posts for you as my own mother does not read my blog.
I was stunned by her loving support and the fact that she seemed to be your friend, yes, but also have the loving hand of a MOTHER and guider.
Ill be thinking of you today.
Carla
I am so deeply sorry and wish there was something I could do. I am a lurker of your blog, but wanted to tell you that you have a lot of people thinking of and praying for you, I'm sure.
Be strong... your mom was clearly so proud of you, all of the time, 100% of the time. She still is, I'm sure of it. She has you to be proud of! It sounds like you, and your family, were her life and it made her happy... and that's coming from a total stranger on the outside.
Big hugs to you.
I went away for a couple of days after reading about your Mom on Saturday and I haven't stop thinking about you and your family and what you must be going through.
Even though I never met your Mom I felt the loss so deeply. I always loved reading her comments on your blog and envied the close relationship she had with you and your sisters. She was obviously an amazing woman who will live on in the hearts of all she touched.
I wish I lived closer so I could join the walk. Unfortunately there is no amount of food that will be able to fill the void, even the Oreos she loved.
I wrote something about your tragic loss in my last post at:
http://finallyfiguringitout.blogspot.com/2009/08/tragic-loss.html
I realize that no words are able to bring comfort to you at this time but hope you know we are all here keeping you and your family in our thoughts and prayers.
You know your Mom would want you to stay strong. Take care.
This is my first visit to your blog. I don't know what even directed me here...but, somehow I found it....and I am sobbing. Crying my heart out for a stranger. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. What a horrible way to lose someone you obviously loved so much. I can not be there for the walk...but I will eat an OREO today with my kids in honor of your MOM. God bless you and your family. LISA
Jen you're a beautiful amazing person and your mom would be so proud of you for being so honest about your feelings. It will take you far in the grief process. I so badly wish I could be at the walk.
There's a post in my blog just for you. Read it whenever you have time. You keep feeling whatever you're feeling and know that so many people love and care about you.
Sending lots of hugs from Newfoundland, xoooooo
Jen,
I watched the Kare 11 segment and have to say I was moved by your dad's words. His love for your mom is so genuine, and it was beautiful to see. He spoke with grace and I hope you and your family and friends know many thoughts of love and many prayers are being sent your way. Take care of each other, it is what will see you through this grief.
Many prayers,
Lisa
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. You and your family our in my prayers.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my mom last month, but at least it was from illness, not a tragedy like this.
I will think of you and your family when I take my walk today.
Jen, thinking of you and sending you love, strength and prayers.
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