I am numb.
I am speechless beyond comprehension.
I am surrounded by family and loved ones yet feel nothing.
I am out of breath but breathing so hard.
I cannot begin to cry the tears deserved.
Memories are the only thing left yet they aren’t enough.
I will never understand.
I will never forget.
I will never stop crying.
I love you mom. I love you.
A little over twelve hours ago, my live was shattered. I lost my best friend, my confidant – I lost my pillar of strength, hope & courage. Forever gone is my coach, my cheerleader, my instructor. I lost my example of faithful, unconditional love, I lost my mom.
A little over twelve hours ago, my mom was hit by a car while on a walk and died on the way to the hospital. There were no goodbye’s. Please keep our family in your thoughts an prayers. Most importantly, please keep my father, who lost his best friend of 32 years in your prayers.
I love you mom!
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I am so sorry for your loss.
Wow I heard about this on the news earlier. I live in Minneapolis as well. And when I was looking around at different blogs I found this sad news. Prayers for you and your family!
Oh Jen, I'm so very sorry. I read the article and I just felt numb inside knowing how much you must be aching right now. I'm keeping you, your Dad and your whole family in my thoughts and prayers.
I am so very sorry for your loss.
Words can not express how sorry
Please take care of you and know that your blog friends are here for you when you need us.
(((hugs)))
I am so sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers are with your family tonight.
I'm so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Oh!! Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Such terrible news, there are no words. I am so sorry. Hugs and more hugs to you and your family.
I read about your mom on KK's blog. I don't know you, but I am so sorry about your loss…from everyone's comments not only here, but on other blogs as well, your mom was a special, special person. I am so very, very, very sorry.
I am so sorry. I can't begin to imagine what it would feel like to lose my mom, and I can't even come close to understanding what kind of pain you must feel, but I just hope that you have lots of support and shoulders to lean on in this infinitely difficult time. My thoughts are with you and your family.
This is my first time visiting your blog and I am so sorry to hear that. My thoughts will be with you and your family during this difficult time.
So sorry for your loss Jen! I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers!
I lost my Mom in November of 2008. You and your family are in my prayers. Remember to take care of yourself.
I have been reading for several weeks now, but don't comment often. I'm wish I had the words to say to help you right now, but I know there aren't any. In reading your posts, it has always been clear that you and your Mom had a really special relationship and she has been your number one supporter through this whole journey.
I am so beyond sorry. I am wishing you strength and courage and the support of your friends and family to get through this.
Life can be so unfair.
I'm so sorry for your loss, my condolences.
Oh Jen, i cant believe it.. im so sorry i didnt see this sooner.
i love your mom just through her comments to you on here- she was an amazing lady im so sorry.
you, your dad, Carlos, and the rest of your family are included in my prayers..
love you..
I have been a lurker for a long time. Just wanted to say I am praying for you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss.
Jen, i'm so so so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you. ***Hugs*** Words cant make it easier or better, but always know she'll always be there cheering you on, no matter what.
I am so, so sorry. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. Your mom seemed to be a beautiful person inside and out.
My Gosh- I am so sorry for your loss. my thoughts are with you
My heart aches for you. I will be praying for you and your family.
I just found your blog and am sorry I found it at such a difficult time for you. Know your mom will ALWAYS be with you and will continue to be your cheerleader, your confidant, and your best friend. You just have to take some time to step back and figure out how she's talking to you. Its amazing the little things that happen in life, from this point on, that you'll know could have only happened because of your mom.
You and your family are in my prayers. As for your dieting, stay strong and keep moving forward. Your mom would have wanted that.
God Bless.
There is nothing I can say (obviously) that will help your pain but tears drip from my eyes right now as I imagine your situation/your feelings. My mom is my BEST FRIEND in the world. She lives beside me and she is an ENORMOUS part of my life. I've said before that if anything ever happened to her, you might as well just kill me know because I couldn't go on. I have recently learned (through a Beth Moore Bible Study on Esther) that even when the most horrendous, unthinkable thing happens—God is still God. He still has a plan for our lives, despite this awful thing and He sees the big picture. Our life here on this earth is just a small peice of eternity. I didn't know you or your mom, but from reading your blog this morning, there is no doubt her legacy will live on and touch others lives for years and years to come. During our Bible Study we had to go through a little exercise where we said "Even if ________ happens, God will _________." and we had to fill in the blanks. It was very tough for me to admit (and accept). I ended up filling in the blanks like this: "Even if my husband, children and/or mom died, God will resussitate ME so that I will somehow-through HIS power-be able to live again."
I hope that God is already at work–healing your heart. I lost my grandma last September and while that is NOTHING like tragically losing your mom…I have had to see what my own mom has gone through losing HER mom. It's something I NEVER want to face. Knowing people like you are out there though–having to go through life without their mom–sure puts a different perspective on my own relationship with my mom. I hope I will think of you when I'm inclined to get aggravated with her for calling the 26th time in one day–or when she gives my kids candy to eat before dinner. That is such STUPID and trivial stuff when put into perspective. I bet you'd give anything to just have your mom call just one more time—and yet some of us gripe becuase she won't stop calling. My heart aches for you.
Though I don't know you—I feel I should end this with "Love you" because we are all sisters in Christ and I truely do love every woman out there!
So….
Love you!
Jen (my name is Jen too!)
Jen,
I am deeply, deeply sorry to hear about your loss. If the sympathy of a stranger is of any consolation, you have my thoughts and prayers.
Gena
Jen,
Came over from biggestdiabetic and wish to offer my condolences. I am so very sorry for your (and your family) loss!
eko
Jen, I was on vacation all last week, and I came home excited to read your Aug. 1 blog, because I was sure you had reached your goal…I was horrified when I read this post instead. I'm so sorry, you'll be in my thoughts.
I am so so sorry for your loss. I've been away from blogland and just saw what happened. Sending you many many (hugs)
you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
I just found your blog and have been perusing through it. I am so, so sorry that this happened to you; it breaks my heart. I know all too well how it is to lose a parent without having the opportunity to say goodbye; it's horrible, it's awful, it's lonely…but you will get through it. I promise, you will. Hang in there – you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hi Jen, I just stumbled across your blog via a blogger on the nest. I anticipated finding a good read of a girl fighting her struggle. I never expected to find you. Your family's story has stuck with me in the time past it made the headlines.
I'm sure to be a new reader, but for now I'm just a random stranger offering my heartfelt condolences. I am so sorry.
Jen, I am new to your blog, but have found you to be so inspiring and uplifting. I just read what has recently happened to you and your family. I pray for you and your family, God bless.
Jen, I just found out about your mom. I am going to miss her comments on my blog. I thought she was so awesome for her kind words. I wish I knew why these things happened. I wish I knew words to comfort you.
I am praying for you and your wonderful family.
Oh PFG, my gosh, I am floored by your news…..
She is still with you. Her soul will be near you. She will find ways to let you know she is there.
Why do the best ones go first?!?!?!?
Stay strong and go through the process knowing we all love and support you.
You are always there for us, about time we return the favour.
Lots of love, light, prayers, and cyber hugs
Liska xx
Jen, I'm newly discovering your blog and this is just the second of your posts that I have read. I don't know you yet, but I find myself in tears. Your loss is a loss we can all understand and I send my prayers and love to you (along with the other 584 comments you've already received). God bless you, your dad, and your family. I pray that you all feel His peace and know that your mom is well and that He will heal your pain. My cyber-arms are embracing your cyber-heart.
My deepest condolences for you and your family. I just recently had a scare myself. Sept. 8, 2009 at aproximately 7:45am my mother was hit, ran over, and dragged by a van while riding her bike. Luckily enough ambulances were able to life-flight her to John Muir hospital and she is still with me today.
I can't imagine my life with out my mother, and to endure even the though that she might have left this earth would shatter me and my family. I wish you the very best and I hope that you continue your journey knowing that somewhere, your mother is watching, cheering, and still leading you.
My heart goes out to you.
With love,
Stephanie
586 comments . You go girl. I have never seen so many. I found your blog from another blog from another blog. I am a blog hopper. I lost 40lbs. And kept it off for 2 yrs. while I was working but now I am caring for my mom full time. All I want to do is eat. I have gained around 2 or 3 inchs in my waist. I hate that. Buying smaller cloths was so much fun. I will pray for you and your family in these hard times and good luck with everything.
No words will express my deepest sorrow for your loss. We can never understand why things happen the way they do but what we come to realize is that those things that happen make us stronger & teaches us just how much we can bear. God bless you!
I am very sorry for your loss. I hope that with time, you will heal and always remember your mother as she was-not how she is now. Just know that she is with you and will always be a warm presence in your life. My grandfather also lost his battle and when I pray for my family, I will pray for yours.
God bless you and your loved ones….you are in my thoughts and prayers
I just stumbled over this by accident and it took my breath away. I am Alix's sister from casahice. I am very close to my daughter and can't believe how your mom was snatched away so suddenly. I'm saying a little prayer for your all now. My eyes are filling with tears. God knew how very wonderful she was and wanted her near Him. My heart aches for you all…
I am so sorry for your loss Jen. You made a huge accomplishment in your life and I also pass along my congrats to you on that.
I am thinking of you and your family right this moment and I will continue to pray for your peace.
I've been a blog stalker since about June-ish but never posted anything. You're blog is very encouraging and you weight loss journey amazing. It's inspiring. I just started reading blogs again a month or so ago after I created a weight loss blog inspired by the death of my father. I can relate to the pain you're going through–it sucks. And I'm sorry. So sorry for your loss.
I just read this today and I am overwhelmed by your grief. May God keep you in your time of mourning.
Jenn, I am so sorry. I do not know you or your family but I am a follower on twitter. I'm 30 and I lost my mom 3 years ago.
My heart goes out to you and your family. Sending you many hugs and prayers.
~Audrey Kathleen
Jen, I just came across your blog and read about your mom. I am so so sorry about your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family.
I'm so sorry for your loss, it must have been an awful shock. I remember the day I lost my mom, I felt shocked even though we knew it might happen (she had leukemia) I can't imagine in coming so much out of the blue. So sorry, praying for you.
I've just found your blog– but wanted to leave my thoughts. I also lost a parent this year & it is hard, and I'm hoping to be in a better place this year as well. Take care & I hope 2010 brings you peace, health & happiness.
I just found your blog as well, having heard you are attending the Minnesota Bloggers get together. I remember the story of your mother so well and how it broke my heart at the time. And am still so, so sorry for the tremendous loss.
God bless you!! I pray that God gives you and your family strength. Be strong.
I have never left a comment before. I am so sorry for your loss.
Hi Jen,
I am former fat girl too! Please reach out to me for any support you may need! – joanne@fitnessanswer.com
jen~i just found your site thru a 'blog' of a 'blog'…..i am so sorry to read about your mom….god bless you and your family. i know a little time has passed, but the hurt never goes away…she sounds like she was an amazing lady. blessings, xoxo terri
Hi Jen, i ran across your blog on accident and read about what happened to your mom and wanted to say i was sorry for your loss…when i read your post about your mom it made me start to tear up. I am an American who has been living in Kuwait for the past 4 and a half years with my husband and 2 kids. On August 29th, 2008 i got a phone call from across the world telling me that my mom had bumped her head and fallen in a pool (that, at the time held only 2 feet of water…it was JUST being filled) and had drowned. It was the most devastating thing i have ever had to endure. Just as in your case….there were no goodbyes…i had been back to the states just 2 weeks prior sitting on the back porch with her….healthy, laughing, talking….and then….just like that….she was gone…i just wanted you to know i am thinking about you…and i know EXACTLY the pain you are going through…my prayers are with you and your family always…
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