I am numb.
I am speechless beyond comprehension.
I am surrounded by family and loved ones yet feel nothing.
I am out of breath but breathing so hard.
I cannot begin to cry the tears deserved.
Memories are the only thing left yet they aren’t enough.
I will never understand.
I will never forget.
I will never stop crying.
I love you mom. I love you.

A little over twelve hours ago, my live was shattered. I lost my best friend, my confidant – I lost my pillar of strength, hope & courage. Forever gone is my coach, my cheerleader, my instructor. I lost my example of faithful, unconditional love, I lost my mom.
A little over twelve hours ago, my mom was hit by a car while on a walk and died on the way to the hospital. There were no goodbye’s. Please keep our family in your thoughts an prayers. Most importantly, please keep my father, who lost his best friend of 32 years in your prayers.

I love you mom!



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I was reading your blog and when I read your I'm Numb I felt like I was saying those words. I am sorry for your loss, I understand your pain. I lost my sister on her way to work July 2007. It changes everything!
I just found your blog this weekend and just read this entry. I have a lump in my throat and really share in your pain. I lost my grandfather recently and it is really impacting my struggle with weight. You are such an inspiration.
I just found your blog, through JewliaGoulia's place. What a tragic story, and I truly am sorry for your loss. As someone who lost a parent suddenly (and too soon), I can relate to some of your pain. I'm going to add you to my google reader to see how your life has been treating you since this tragedy!
I’m SO sorry! I don’t know what else to say… that is awful!
I am so sorry.
Oh Jen, I am so sorry for your loss! I know there are no words I can say right now that will make things better for you, but please know that I am praying for you and your family. My heart breaks for you…
Wow. I am so sorry for your loss, Jen. I was just browsing your blog when I came across your devastating story. My mom is everything to me that you listed your mom to be (best friend, confidante, cheerleader, instructor, etc.) and I believe losing her so abruptly would be my worst nightmare. I don’t really know how I would pick up the pieces. You have extraordinary strength and I’m sure your mom watches you daily overcoming your trials and is SO proud. Just wanted to let you know that your story spoke to me
God bless you!
Wow, Jen, what a wonderful tribute from a blogging friend AND a tribute to your mom! I’ve never read those articles before but wow. I lost my dad suddenly – no goodbyes either (drowning) and it was tough. ((( hugs ))) Your mom would be proud of you!
D
Jen, I just recently started my journey of weight loss and blogging. I just read Tony’s post tonight and decided to read your post Numb. I’m so sorry for you loss. I lost my mom on Dec 27,2005 to pancreatic cancer. Your life is forever changed. Please know that I’m praying for you and your family. Thank you for the inspiration you give me everyday!
I know how you feel and I am so sorry for your loss. I took care of my dad while he suffered with alzheimers and I gained over 50 lbs.After he died I was so lost and the weight just packed on. I am now on my way to a healthier me. Robbi
So very sorry. My Mama was diagnosed 8/27/10 with lung cancer & lived only 7 weeks after. She died on 10/15/10 and it is devastating! I can’t imagine your pain but hope that God continues to comfort you.
I know this happened a while ago but I’m only just finding your blog now. And I believe it’s never too late to give someone my condolences.
I’m so sorry for your tragic loss.
sorry for your lost and you are in my prayers.
I read an article about you in Woman’s Day today and logged on to your blog and just read about your mom. I know your pain. I lost my mom to breast cancer when I was just 21 years old. She was my source of unconditional love and support. I am now 46 and the pain is still just as real at times as it was that day. I have struggled with my weight since, especially after my dad also died 11 years ago. My brief reading of you words has been motivational to me….I hope I am able to do what you have done. God bless you always.
Im so sorry for your loss. I just read your Nimb and I couldnt have said it better myself I just lost my dad and thats how I felt about him. I hope when I feel bad I can remember you and come back and get inspiration, you truely have made my day. keep posting:0)
I’m a “current fat girl” that promised my terminally ill mother that I’d get healthy. I lost my mom a little over a year ago after a bad reaction to chemo and I never got to say goodbye either. I’ve been working on getting my health back this past year and have committed to losing weight recently. This post broke my heart and made me feel like I am not alone too at the same time. I will be adding your blog to those that I’m currently following for inspiration.
I just learned of your blog from my friend Jolene. REading your story brought tears to my eyes. I, too, lost my mom. She’s been gone over 8 years now but not a day goes by that I don’t think of her. She is in my thoughts all day long. Just know that your mom IS with you every day, she’s watching over you, giving you strength, and loving you. It’s true we don’t have our moms with us physically, but they will always be in our hearts.
Oh, and I’m a current fat girl too. 3 years ago I was at my all-time low adult weight (156). I’m back up to 200. I could just shoot myself for gaining it back but know that someday I will lose it again. I look forward to reading through your blog and getting some inspiration
I read your other part of the blog about your losing weight then clicked on the link about being numb, i am so sorry you have lost your bestfriend, big hugs from a stranger here, i cannot comprehend your emotions.
Jen- I’m so sorry for your loss. I was just browsing your blog today after meeting you on the plane. You are such an inspiring woman and I hope to get to know you better.
I just came across your blog. I’m sorry you had something so terrible happen in your life. I lost my mom in 2009 to cancer. I miss her everyday I know how you miss your mother too.
I am so sorry for your loss. It is so hard when loved ones are taken away from us, especially when it is sudden and completely unfair. Please know that I am praying for you and your family.
I am so sorry for your loss. I will pray for your family.
Lots of hugs, losing a parent is the worse feeling in the world..
Sorry for your loss Jen. I was hit by a car while walking up the street to get my hair cut. The woman was in the suicide lane and turned onto the street I was crossing. She said she never saw me.
I continue to struggle daily with after effects, injuries and pain, yet I am alive and am thankful. seeing your post makes me value my life even more because I know it could have ended different.
Tina Flaugher
I remember this story!!! I’m so so sorry that this happened to your family!!!!!
It’s great that you have such a good relationship with your family. Besides your health your family is extremely important.
I have no idea what it would feel like to lose a parent. I felt so sad for you reading this blog. Celebrate the memories you shared with her and keep fighting through another day. I’m so sorry for your loss.
so sorry for your lost, may your mom rip.
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