Thanks for coming back and reading my blog after I went on a literary rampage yesterday – you are all awesome for letting me say things that are on my mind. All of your comments were so true yesterday, that we need to hold each other accountable, that when we have the fight in us, we need to share it with others because the days we dont have it, we will look elsewhere to find it, to help us get through the day. Some days, we are mentally prepared to fight the fight, other days we need the strength and encouragement of others to get us to the finish line.
Friday, I wanted in the break room to make my psyllium husk & oatmeal for breakfast and there was a chocolate cake (already, in the morning?!). I so wanted to eat a piece, and someone had every so graciously plated a couple of 
pieces and garnished each piece with its very own fork. Luckily, there were a couple of ladies in the breakroom. As I walked to the water cooler, one of the lady’s said “I’m having a piece of cake but I’m sure we wouldn’t find Jen eating a piece, not with that figure.”
Sweet old ol’ lady.
If she weren’t there, if she didn’t make that comment, I would have plead temporary insanity and taken a piece. If this lady wasn’t in that room, I would have taken a bite. Sometimes people don’t even realize they are keeping me in check with their comments. But this makes a good point – sometimes we don’t know the damage we are doing with our comments either. Even if we think we are joking, and we make a sarcastic comment about someones weight or the size of their tummy, they may laugh on the outside but we could have just added insult to injury.
I read on someones blog a story about how people make comments and they don’t even know the full story. This lady had shared a very personal experience. She was walking in her neighborhood and from across the street, three boys yelled out mean mean things to her about her weight and how big she was. (kids can be so cruel!)
But what they didn’t know, was that a year ago, this lady hadn’t been able to walk to the front door without being out of breath. She was morbidly obese and had extremely limited mobility because of her weight. And in that past year, she found determination & motivation to get up, exercises and begin a journey to healthiness. Here she was, a year into her journey and she was celebrating her achievement of finally being able to go out side and walk – and they ruined it. The comments these boys made reminded her of how much further she still had to go and distracted her from celebrating her accomplishments.
I know this is an extreme case – but it is a good reminder for each of us, including me, to remember that non of us know the full story of what others are going through. As much as I blog, I try to keep everyone in the loop of my ups and downs – but only to an extent. I have up to this point, limited the amount of negative post’s I share with you. This is a conscious action on my part, one that many of you have asked me about. Some have even encouraged me to share more of the negative. But let me give you my reasoning:
- A blog I have read for 6+ months is ALWAYS negative (I mean every post is “I am not doing well, I give up, this sucks, I’m not loosing weight, I don’t know why I try,” etc). It is so depressing to read her struggles every day, she never talks about the good things. Last week, I deleted her blog from my list of must reads.
- In order for me to stay positive, I need to be positive…which means even on days that I may not feel positive, I need to act positive in order to hopefully do a mind shift.
- I don’t want to diminish or take away from everything that I have achieved so far
- I try to be positive for each of you…my readers
Now – as I shared yesterday in my ranting post, this past year has been full of struggles. And even now I wake up
every day and am faced with the same frustrations of having to choose between reverting to my old habits or continuing to be healthy. I cannot explain in words how hard this is…but I know you know. Everything that you all face, the temptations, the thoughts of doubt and the feelings of just giving in – I face it. I know what you are going through. I read on someones blog that she thought that the people who had already lost the weight had “forgotten” what it was like to go through it. And I’m here to say, I know exactly what you are going through. Inside of me are the same struggles. I remember the dark days when I felt as though I was alone, when I felt as though no one knew what I was experiencing. I remember the days when the smile on the outside was the only thing preventing me from crying. The good thing about our struggle to healthiness is that we aren’t the only ones – the bad thing is that sometimes we feel like we are.
Voice your thoughts as you normally do, comments are open.
When you receive inspiration & motivation from me, pay it forward.
Jen
