Moving past the fog of unhealthiness.

When I am unhealthy, I can often look back and recognize a fog. A mental fog that weighs me down so much, it becomes a physical attribute. I don’t necessarily notice it every minute of every day. But it’s there. Lingering.  A constant sluggish feeling that hovers over my life. Like I’m always playing catch-up. Moments experienced through a tinted filter. The opposite, when I’m in a really good place with my health, is a refreshing feeling. I feel light, quick to respond. Experiences are crisp and sharp. I feel free.

I want to be healthy for myself.
I want to be healthy for Francisco.
I want to be healthy for my marriage.

I want to be healthy. Healthy physically, mentally, spiritually and financially. I want to feel free in life; not weighed down by the fog of unhealthiness. I want to rise above the haze I often feel as a result of my unhealthiness.

I worked out 3 times last week and so far, 2 times this week. Sunday, I made it to the gym even though Carlos was out town (usually I would use this as an excuse to not workout.) I dropped Francisco off at the daycare and even though he hated it, I took the 30min for myself to sweat. This morning I also went. At 5am. Which meant Carlos got up with Francisco. Carlos is more of a night owl (I am the early bird) so I appreciate Carlos being willing to wake up and hang with Francisco.

2 times this week. Not as much as I’d like but I’m still taking it as progress. We are going back to Minneapolis tomorrow so I my goal will be to work out before a half-day of work which will get me to 3 times this week.  Although in the back of my mind, I still continue to crave getting up to 5 times a week.

I’m tracking my food. I’m focusing on being balanced and while I still need to work on decreasing my fat macro, I’m doing very well with not overdosing on processed carbs every day. My eating focus is eating balanced, real food. Not low calorie, not low fat, not some fad diet. Just balanced protein, healthy carbs and good fat.

It’s a slow uphill battle. Fighting toward healthiness when unhealthy habits seem to feed off each other. One decision in the morning can throw the rest of the day off kilter and seem absolutely impossible. Every day can start with the same good intentions but intentions don’t mean much if it isn’t followed up with action. 

Every day, the goal is to continue to move past the fog of unhealthiness. 

Blog blog blog.

Yes my friends, I see your comments, emails and tweets asking me to continue blogging. And I think about it often. In fact, I found myself in the last week actually tweeting again.
But blogging? I don’t know what to talk about. Haven’t I blogged about everything already? I cringe at the idea of getting up on here talking about how hard this is. Partially because I feel like I should have this figured out by now, but also partially because I feel like a big whiny baby. 

I joined a gym last month. A fancy one that turns out to be about a 6 minute drive from my house depending on if I hit lights. I have made it 2-4 times a week since I joined. Not as consistent as I would like but certainly much better than anything I have done over the last two years. 

Francisco is 11 months now and more independent than ever. He is almost sleeping through the night, falling alseep at 6pm every night. He still wakes up between 2-4am for a bottle but will then go back to sleep until after 5:30am. He has been walking for a couple months now, opening doors, drawers, and so curious. I love it.

It has been a beautiful weekend here in Milwaukee. We spent a few hours outside yesterday. I always heard how amazing it was seeing little babies experience life for the first time but now that I actually see it first-hand, seeing Francisco feel grass, feel leaves, feel rocks…. it really is life changing. 

I just got home from the gym and need to jump in the shower. We are meeting some friends for breakfast then need to get Francisco some new pants before find a park to play at. 
Happy Sunday my friends!

Moving on.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!! I finally made it to the gym last night – it felt so good to just zone out and sweat a little. I wish I could get back into morning workouts but Francisco is still all over the place with waking up in the morning. Sometimes he is up at 3:30am, sometimes he sleeps until 4:50am. Carlos is really helpful with Francisco but I’m much more of a morning person than he is so for now, morning workouts aren’t really going to work. Until then, I just have to keep pushing myself to get the evening workouts in. I am not trying to set expectations for myself too high – I would like to be consistent with just 3 to 4 times a week.

This morning, we were up at about 5am. I had plenty of time to mix up some chicken salad and put together lunches for today and tomorrow for myself.

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Tonight I have a hair appt at 5pm so I’m going to run there after work, then my plan is to go home, change into workout clothes and hit the gym again. I also need to spend some time googling baby things:

  • How to get Francisco to sleep through the night.
    The doctor told us at his last appointment we should try to stop with the night time feedings. Francisco wakes up 1-3 times a night. The first time or two that he wakes up, I can get him back to sleep without eating but sometime between 2am and 4am, I will usually need to feed him to get him back to sleep. I talked with my sisters and they all said they never forced the night time feedings to stop, they just did it until the babies slept through the night on their own. I did some initial research and there is a lot of information on both sides so I guess I just need to figure out where we will land.
  • How to get Francisco to not bite.
    Yesterday when I picked him up from daycare, one of the teachers said the past couple days he has been crawling up to them and biting their knees. Francisco has his two bottom teeth and is eating more and more table food so I know a lot of babies go through this stage.
  • Baby sign language.
    I feel like I’m starting a little later on this but do want to start using baby sign language at home.

Any advice on sleeping, biting or baby sign language?

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Let me try this again.

Another day where I’ve waken up feeling ready to tackle the world. So, let’s try this again. I set my workout clothes on the bed so they are there looking at me when I get home.

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aaww… Mr. Iggy. My first lil’ baby! He is adjusting fairly well to Francisco. 7 months now, I cannot believe it. Iggy didn’t look at Carlos or me the first few weeks, he was so mad at us for bringing home a crying baby. But every day they seem to get along more and more. Iggy is very careful around Francisco. Francisco has so far been fairly careful with Iggy. I try to be very consistent in trying to teach Francisco to pet Iggy nicely, saying “nice doggy.” Iggy LOVES to play tug ‘o war and I’ve seen Francisco being very attentive when I play with Iggy the past month. In fact, in the past week or so, I’ve noticed Francisco will pick up one of Iggy’s toys and try to hold it up to Iggy. Iggy doesn’t really know how to respond. I’m not sure I want Francisco playing tug ‘o war with Iggy right now, I feel like Iggy and Francisco may not understand boundaries just yet and one of them will get too rough with the other. Either way, we keep a pretty close eye on both of them when they get near each other. I’m glad though that Iggy seems to be adjusting well to Francisco – I was a little nervous at first because I certainly did baby my little Iggster.

Alright friends, it’s Tuesday and we got work to do. Here’s to a day full of healthy decisions!

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