When I am unhealthy, I can often look back and recognize a fog. A mental fog that weighs me down so much, it becomes a physical attribute. I don’t necessarily notice it every minute of every day. But it’s there. Lingering. A constant sluggish feeling that hovers over my life. Like I’m always playing catch-up. Moments experienced through a tinted filter. The opposite, when I’m in a really good place with my health, is a refreshing feeling. I feel light, quick to respond. Experiences are crisp and sharp. I feel free.
I want to be healthy for myself.
I want to be healthy for Francisco.
I want to be healthy for my marriage.
I want to be healthy. Healthy physically, mentally, spiritually and financially. I want to feel free in life; not weighed down by the fog of unhealthiness. I want to rise above the haze I often feel as a result of my unhealthiness.
I worked out 3 times last week and so far, 2 times this week. Sunday, I made it to the gym even though Carlos was out town (usually I would use this as an excuse to not workout.) I dropped Francisco off at the daycare and even though he hated it, I took the 30min for myself to sweat. This morning I also went. At 5am. Which meant Carlos got up with Francisco. Carlos is more of a night owl (I am the early bird) so I appreciate Carlos being willing to wake up and hang with Francisco.
2 times this week. Not as much as I’d like but I’m still taking it as progress. We are going back to Minneapolis tomorrow so I my goal will be to work out before a half-day of work which will get me to 3 times this week. Although in the back of my mind, I still continue to crave getting up to 5 times a week.
I’m tracking my food. I’m focusing on being balanced and while I still need to work on decreasing my fat macro, I’m doing very well with not overdosing on processed carbs every day. My eating focus is eating balanced, real food. Not low calorie, not low fat, not some fad diet. Just balanced protein, healthy carbs and good fat.
It’s a slow uphill battle. Fighting toward healthiness when unhealthy habits seem to feed off each other. One decision in the morning can throw the rest of the day off kilter and seem absolutely impossible. Every day can start with the same good intentions but intentions don’t mean much if it isn’t followed up with action.
Every day, the goal is to continue to move past the fog of unhealthiness.