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PriorFatGirl is a community of writers who share their healthiness journey with you, our friends. Currently, posts on the main page are written by Liz who is fighting through her healthiness journey (and winning!) You can read other priorfatgirl journeys by clicking on the “Other priorfatgirl’s” drop down from the top menu.

Through the ups and downs of life, the scale, and emotions, we share our stories as a form of therapy for us, and as a way to help remove stigmas associated with trying to live up to social expectations of being perfect. We will not ever promise to be perfect, but we will promise to share candidly our journeys of learning how to be healthy in an unhealthy world, sugar coating not included.

 

Weigh In: Week 59

This week was nutty.  Just in part it included: MIL in the hospital and us spending time trying to help the family, E2’s tube surgery – which went well but meant a day off, Communion Instruction retreat to teach, my parents coming into town, an overnight ER trip with E1 for an asthma reaction to a cold, working full time and throwing a birthday party for 9 kids at a bowling alley.  Oh and trying to clean my house, eat right, get my work done at my job as well as all my other jobs.

In fact, when WordPress ate a post all about this on Sunday night I just gave up and went to bed.  I meant to get back to post, but I’m still just playing catch up.  Despite ALL of that going on, I did have an ok week.  Yes, I ate birthday cake (and a birthday cupcake).  In fact I had sweets far more often this week than normal.  HOWEVER, I tracked them all and factored everything into the rest of my eating too.  As a result, while I used my weekly points, I did not go off the rails and I still lost weight this week.

-0.6 Pounds

99.2 lbs Lost on WW to Date (133.6 lbs Lost total)

Boom.  Go me!

To have the week I had and still stay on track is HUGE for me.  HUGE.  To have cake and to compensate by making other good choices is huge.  To not emotionally eat out of exhaustion, anxiety or stress….huge.

And to realize that I am currently the smallest weight I have ever been since at LEAST my sophomore year of college (maybe earlier)….HUGE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It blows my mind to think of myself as being under 250lbs (just barely but under nonetheless).  I spent so much of my adult life trying to stay under 350 (because that was somehow better at least – a sign of not totally giving in to food).

I enjoy being this weight so far and am still planning to lose more but we are quickly coming to uncharted territory.  I am a size away from my “small” high school size.  I am now at weights that I don’t remember seeing because it was at an age where that number was so horrific to me that I couldn’t face the scale without crying.  Now here I am facing those same numbers and cheering.

In between those times I’ve learned to love myself, no matter what the scale says, and I truly think that helps manage this weight loss roller coaster immensely.  My worth is not caught up in a number on a scale.  I use it to help measure my success because I want to be healthy but not because I want to satisfy some ideal of beauty.

Maybe it is easier for me.   I have always been an introvert, a geek, a bandie, an academic, a weird person.  I am used to not quite fitting in, and I wear my awkwardness with pride (most of the time).  I rarely ascribe to things society tells me I should do, be, like or wear.  I chose what I like.  In that way, I don’t have to fight for some unattainable goal, but can focus on being the best me I can be.  Right now that involves weight loss.  Hopefully someday it doesn’t, but that is still a ways away.

No matter what I can look at my pictures to day and say to myself, “Yes, I am really doing something amazing.”

Weigh In Week 58

Last week I did everything I was supposed to and gained weight.  This week I had a virtually identical week point wise….and lost weight.  Sometimes you just cannot predict what your body is going to do.  Not only that, but I had a nice loss and a at a new “low” for my weight.

-4.4 Pounds

98.6 lbs Lost on WW to Date

(133 lbs total)

Yeah, I’ll take that.

I am glad I had a good result this week because this week is CRAZY and I really needed the lift and the motivation to keep on tracking and fighting for good choices when there is temptation and packed days this week.  (For example, today I drove a 3 hr round trip to sit with someone in the hospital for 2 hrs, tomorrow is E2’s tube surgery AND E1’s birthday, not to mention work and all of that “normal” busy stuff I have).

Oh and did I mention there will be cake around with E1’s birthday?  Don’t worry, I have a plan.  Hopefully that will be another blog post, but I make no promises.

So it was good to see a good loss.  And because I haven’t done this in a while:

ww week 58

In a week of craziness, a little success feels good.

I’m *NOT* going to Disney World

I know about 8 people (minimum) headed down to Disney World this weekend for the Princess Race weekend.  Among them are my SIL and BIL, my niece (doing the Diaper Dash), and several of my favorite Fitbloggin’ friends.  They have been packing up and traveling today, on their way to the happiest place on earth.

I am not going.  My knee injury this fall made it apparent that I never could have maintained a training schedule to get in half marathon shape, especially with an injury.  As it turns out, it was probably for the best as E2’s constant ear infections and general winter illnesses are hard on the pocketbook and the PTO.  (In other news E2 was cleared to get tubes today, which I am immensely glad for as she currently has ear infection 10 in 9 months.)

Still, I feel a pang of regret that I am not joining friends and family and for not accomplishing what I set out to do.  Plus, you know I am not in Florida when it is -5 degrees in MN.  I am also not celebrating E1’s birthday in Disney like I’d thought (thank goodness we hadn’t told them about those plans).

I am grateful that my knee is feeling as good as it has been these last few months.  PT did wonders for it and it feels strong, but I still don’t think I’m going to be running any time soon.  I do regret that Disney never got back to me when I inquired about delaying my race or transferring it to someone else.  I don’t love the idea of the race ticket going to waste.

It is what it is, and while part of me knows I could never have done it safely this year, another part of me longs to be celebrating a challenge accepted and completed.  And what better place to celebrate than with Mickey Mouse!